


011 - Date Raked

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Established Relationship, Humor, Kinks, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-04
Updated: 2011-10-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 19:46:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8766595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Succubi are getting so picky these days. It's just not safe to be on the bar scene in California for now...and of course at least another adventure thrown in for good measure.Please do me the favour of reviewing this as you read it. That's the only gauge I got to making these stories rock. Because you gentle-reader rock BIG TIME!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

Authors Note: This is the eleventh installment in the Sam, Dean and Theo stories, if you are new to this a little background info is in order. Theo was an angel on parole and serving a penance, his term now served he has chosen to stay with the boys for a bit. I find the idea of a trio interesting to work with and I hope you enjoy it as well. Note this chapter is dark in places. I have John mentally pictured as being sexually abusive when he was drunk at least in Dean’s teenage years. If this kind of thing turns you off I do apologize in advance. 

 

Story:

San Francisco, California:

 

“It’s a bitch to be single.” Walter thought as he left the bar. 

 

He turned down a side alley and made sure he was clear of view from pedestrian traffic and proceeded to deposit against the side of the building at least two of the beers he’d drunk down that evening. After finishing his business he zipped up and looking back exited the alley to head home to his apartment. He failed however to see the shadow that eclipsed the alley behind him. 

 

He walked on and soon came to the barred up store front with the passage door to the right, after inserting his key and starting to enter he felt a cool brush against his neck which he attributed to a nervous tick and nodding went on in and up the narrow staircase to the apartment above the store. He didn’t fail to notice however that he was throwing some serious wood coming up the stairs, he smiled a little.

 

“Well it’s lonesome but it’s sanitary.” He said to himself as he entered his apartment and clicked on a light. 

 

He looked around and was slightly depressed at his bachelor pad, a single bedroom apartment above a pawn shop. He was convinced that the next morning he would have to make another attempt at finding a more suitable place to live. Stripping down in the living room he wandered around aimlessly for a moment then sat down in an easy chair and turned on the television. He took a quiet assessment of himself. Here he was 24, fit and trim, but only able to land the occasional one night stands, never the long term relationship it seemed everyone else at the bar was having. First things would be to get a new apartment in a different section of town, preferably around a better bar and close to his job. The rest he forgot about for the moment as he heard a slight knock at his door.

 

Rising up he walked over and opened the door a crack to reveal a young lady dressed in little more than a piece of fabric. She was shivering slightly.

 

“Trouble miss?” He asked sure that he’d locked the door downstairs.

 

“I was being followed from the bar, this was the first place I could find to run, may I use your telephone to call for a taxi?” She begged. He looked down and noted that the only thing he had on was his boxers.

 

“Let me grab a robe.” With that he left the door cracked and wandered into the bedroom and grabbed up a terry cloth robe and then wandering back out into the apartment he found the young woman inside the apartment. 

 

“Uh the phone’s over here.” He motioned to a side table. She walked up to him however and ran her hands under his robe stroking his pectorals. “I don’t wish to seem ungra…” Now she snaked a hand under the robe’s lower area and stroked his already stiff dick. “I mean I’m ga...” She then pressed against him the fabric falling away as she proceeded to push him back onto the couch and straddle him.

 

He inwardly shrugged, he’s swung both ways in the past and it was sex. He finally gave into the temptations and began responding by stroking her breasts. She flexed and bowed then leaned down clamping her secret flesh tightly around his dick she began to be even more aggressive. Walter cringing a bit at the overall effect tried to dislodge her but she was stuck to him like a limpet, riding him and coaxing him on, he couldn’t resist her and he orgasmed intently. But she wasn’t done, she was hungry and was about to be fed.

 

Sioux Falls, South Dakota:

Dean came in from outside wiping a light sheen of sweat off his brow, which matched the massive sweat stains on his shirt. He walked into the house and over to the refrigerator and grabbed out a beer. Then he looked into the living room and saw Sam just coming through from the back of the house. He looked up seeing Dean nodded to the load of sheets in his arms.

 

“Thought I’d take a moment and clean up our playpen.” Sam said walking past Dean wrinkling his nose. 

 

“That’s one thing we might consider adding to the garage.”

 

“What’s that?” 

 

“A shower.” Sam replied. “Done with the T-bird?” 

 

“Just about, we got the rest of the body work done and Theo and Bobby are rubbing down the wax job now. I came in to grab us a cold one. That’s also something we could put out in the garage.”

 

“A cold one?” Sam said piling the sheets into the laundry room. 

 

“In a way, a fridge for the garage where we could keep beer out there, that way I wouldn’t have to keep running in the house.” Dean fitted words to actions by disappearing back out the door.

 

The house was a 3000 plus square foot estate on a 100 acre plot of land. A purchase made a few years previous from the sale of some very rare books. Sam and Dean were in a position of having to steal and hustle their way from hunt to hunt; now they were essentially well set they could fund their hunts without resorting to such. Although there were places that Dean just felt the itch to scratch and did hustle his share of pool tables. 

 

The garage was not the typical addition to the house but a larger concern further back on the property where they worked on various wrecks from Bobby’s salvage yard and restored the cars to pristine condition. Right now they were finishing work on a 1957 Ford Thunderbird and were very satisfied with the way the work was progressing. 

 

After returning home from a hunt down in North Georgia, they were gratified to be able to stretch out for a bit and tackle the mundane before the next hunt presented itself. Dean grabbed a few more bottles of beer from the refrigerator and bent over kissing Sam, went back out the back door of the house towards the garage. Sam not exactly a domestic but not exactly liking to live in an animal house, tried hard to keep ahead of the destruction in the house. So in a way he was a domestic goddess or god or whatever. 

 

Piling the sheets into the washer he put some of their underwear that was in the hamper in with it and started the load. As he listened to the sound of the water running he leaned against the machine for a moment debating on whether to research his recent possibility a bit more or shove it off as speculation. 

 

Unsatisfied he went back through to the office and sat down at his computer and pulled up the search that he had running. There were five assorted cases around a particular area in San Francisco all sexually motivated crimes, but strangely happening to much older men. The corpses found were in the octogenarian years. But what made the case so strange was that in one account a young man was heard to say that the corpse that they said was a Walter Kelly was wrong, he was young, in his 20’s and not some ‘old fart’. So Sam started a special search engine running for the area, putting in several specifics he keyed the search to be specific. It seemed that there were attacks like this over the years with a specific interval of time between the rashes of attacks of about 112 years. 

 

Sam started slightly when he heard the back door open again and shut very firmly. He frowned knowing that sound and walked out of the office into the living room to find Theo stretched out on one of the sofas. Theo was their angel on parole, he was sent to them some 12 years previous to serve a penance for a wrong he’d committed in heaven. What he didn’t count on was getting a serious relationship started with Sam and Dean. Now with his body looking like a 20 year old male, Theo was definitely in a black mood.

 

“Dean or Bobby?” Sam asked. 

 

Before he could answer the back door opened and Dean walked in, stormed in, “And don’t just walk off in the middle of a fucking explanation.”

 

“That was not an explanation you were delivering you wanted a fight, you’ve been sporting for one all day.” Theo charged back. Dean worked hard to try and get his temper under control but this was besting him.

 

“Theo, I was just saying that you don’t start the cutting torch while we’re spraying poly on the t-bird.” Dean attempted to say reasonably.

 

Theo was on his feet and around the couch, “What you said was ‘who the fuck told you to jack on that torch you moron.’” Now Theo was working hard at trying to abate his temper as well. “The torch part I don’t mind, but I’m not some snot nosed school kid for you to be throwing you weight around with. You’ve been going off all week like this, then come in at night expecting all to be just peachy. I’m tired of it Dean.” 

 

“Hey you two can I get a word in?” Sam started. 

 

“No!” They said in unison. Sam just stepped back. 

 

“He’s had this coming Sam and you damn well know it.”

 

“Well no one is twisting your arm!” Dean said his temper flaring again. Theo stopped dead still in his tracks, he was barely breathing. 

 

“Ok, Sam, I’m going to go take a shower now, then I’ll join you in the office to see what you’ve come up with. In all that time I will hope that Mr. Perfect here has calmed down some.” Theo turned on his heel and was gone. Dean started to follow only to be stopped by Sam. 

 

“Let me go this ain’t done.” Dean said hotly.

 

“It is unless you just want to drive him away.” Sam said smoldering, “Let’s go back out to the garage, and talk this out.” Sam said pointing to the door. Dean settled for a slow boil then Sam, shrugging shot his hand up the webbing at his thumb and hand catching Dean under the jaw, the fingers settling into a particularly sensitive nerve point behind the jaw. “I said garage now, you and me and Bobby. Now move your ass!” Sam ordered, grumbling Dean complied.

 

“Never should have showed you those nerve blocks.” Dean griped. 

 

In the garage Bobby was quietly spraying the clear coat over the body of the pristine Thunderbird. He looked up when he saw Dean come back in then he fought a smirk when he saw Sam following. Once they were inside, the door closed, the fans venting the fumes out of the paint shack Dean whirled on Sam. Sam cold-cocked him across the jaw with his right fist. Dean rocked back his eyes wide in shock and not some little anger. Bobby looked up and set the sprayer aside turning off the compressor then walking over to the two of them.

 

“Something I can participate in, Ladies or is this a private brawl?” Bobby asked.

 

“What was that for?” Dean said smarting from the blow.

 

“Because you have been acting like a Jekyll-Hyde all week long, you’ll be all bitchy and crabby during the day then at night you can’t get enough play. I just want to know what the fuck is wrong with you?” Sam thundered.

 

“Gotta admit Dean, he’s right, you’ve been a bitch to be around the last few days, sniping and barking at the least little thing.” Dean started to argue back, “Now I know the cutting torch incident was a bit much and yeah Theo should know better. But face it you’ve done some dumbass things yourself in the shop which could’ve blown your dick slap off.” Dean fell back against a 1969 Chevy that Theo had been working on and rubbed his jaw. 

 

“You got a bitching right hook you know that Sam!?” 

 

“In fact I do, now that you’re calmed down a bit you’re avoiding the question.”

 

“I ain’t avoiding nothing.” Dean said. “I’m just trying to figure out where to start.” He took several deep breaths and then looked at both of them, “I can’t tell you what’s going on cause I don’t know myself, I just feel like for some reason my nerves are raw and on edge during the day right now, then after sunset it’s like they polarize.” He looked helplessly down at his hands. “I can’t fucking explain it.” 

 

“Dean look at me.” Sam ordered and Dean slowly complied. Sam seemed to look deep into Dean’s eyes for a moment. 

 

“Ok, if you’re trying to hypnotize me it won’t work.” Dean said looking his brother square in the eyes. Suddenly Dean’s eyes flashed just briefly but they did flash, to the coal blackness of possession. Sam looked at his brother piteously and his brother sensing what had happened fell back again in shock. 

 

“The fuck!” Dean said rubbing his eyes. “What’d you do to me?” He blurted.

 

Sam looked at him sadly, “Not me you’ve done it to yourself.” He then reached out both hands to grasp his brother by the head he pulled him into a kiss and told him, “I love you very much but I gotta do this.”

 

“Wait a minute Sammy.” Dean attempted to say as he felt his brother’s mental presence flood through him like the most intimate type of intercourse, he felt the presence latch onto something that was trying to hide but failed. Dean felt himself retching then suddenly he mouth opened and black smoke poured out of his mouth sparking at his ankles then disappearing to leave a blackened ring on the floor. Sam looked at his brother who was gasping now and working to stand up straight again, then Dean wretched again bringing up the beer he’d just consumed he fell to his knees dry heaving and shivering at the same time. 

 

“Fuck, what was that?” Dean said on his knees.

 

“Best guess, probably leftovers from that last case we worked on after we got home from Georgia. You know the Succubus over in Milwaukee?” Bobby said looking at him. “You took a beating from that bitch over there, looks like you may have ingested a bit of her as well.” Then Bobby started a smirk.

 

“What’s got you tickled old man.” Dean said wiping his mouth and weakly rising back to his feet still in a shake. 

 

“Explains why you’ve been hornier than a three balled tom cat at night.” Bobby said finally breaking into gales of laughter. 

 

“But how did that get past Theo’s senses?” Sam asked quickly. Bobby immediately sobered up and looked around.

 

“You got a point there.” 

 

“Come on.” Sam ordered and they started back through the midday heat to the house, Theo was out of the shower now and toweling off in the bedroom he shared. “Theo, quick question. Can you sense a minor possession?”

 

“No such thing.” Theo said quietly then looked up and saw the whole crew was in the room. Heedless that he was naked he turned to face them with his arms across his chest. 

 

“Then maybe a spawned possession?” 

 

“Possibly could be interpreted as a minor one why?” Theo asked curious now.

 

“Because I just exorcised what I believe is a succubus spawn from Dean.” Sam said looking at Dean now.

 

Theo looked at Dean appraisingly and then nodded slowly. Finally he walked over to Dean and touched his forehead, sensing nothing.

 

Keeping his forefinger pressed firmly against Dean’s forehead he looked levelly at him, “It would serve you right if I gave you a bit of a jolt right now.”

 

Dean leapt back looking around the room quickly for a place to hide. “Whataya mean it’d serve me right?”

 

“Don’t tell me you don’t remember how you’ve been acting all week.” Theo began his temper rising again.

 

“Actually I do remember,” Dean stood up straight now, defenseless, “I remember I was an unmitigated shit to you most of the week, to all of you.”

 

“You’re damn right you were, I thought for a minute you were PMSing.” Bobby said punching Dean in the arm. Theo walked over to stand practically nose to nose with Dean. 

 

“You’ve been an arrogant, selfish, bastard and a voracious lover but if you ever do that again, I’ll leave. Are you pickin up what I’m layin down?” Theo said heatedly.

 

“Theo I’m sorry, I never meant to be like that with you, you know that.” Dean tried.

 

“Was that how you were with your brother before you became fuckbuddies?” Theo asked his tone even now, apparently his anger for the moment forgotten.

 

Dean looked down a moment shamed and then looked back at Theo, “There were times I was worse. Theo you’ve known me for over 12 years, you’ve seen the good and bad sides of me. I promise that I’ll never use you like that again, any of you.”

 

“Fine.” Theo said looking at him, “Are you through in the shed so I can start to work?” He asked.

 

“You just had a shower.” Dean protested.

 

“And you need one; I was asking specifically if you are through out there for now?” Theo asked again.

 

“Yeah I guess so; I don’t feel much like working out there right now.” Dean said morosely walking around the bed and stripping off his coveralls and clothes.

 

“Well if we’re done for the day I’m going over to grab a shower myself. See y’all in a bit.” Bobby was gone then. Dean looked up from the bedside guiltily. “I guess you’re still pretty pissed with me?” 

 

“This ain’t no daytime drama papa bear, you’ve been a jackass and you are going to be reprimanded, I can promise you that.” 

 

“Oh shit.” Dean muttered as he started for the shower. Once they heard water running and the splash of it hitting flesh, Theo sagged and sat on the foot of the bed. He looked up at Sam with tears brimming in his eyes. Sam sat down next to him and pulled him to him.

 

“I know baby bear, I know all too well, he can be an unmitigated shit, but I swear to you he was possessed and from what you’ve taught me to see when I seek, it was a succubus.”

 

“Sam what’re we gonna do?” Theo asked.

 

“What you’re gonna do is relax a bit, let the anger get out of you, and try not to see a hydra every time you look at Dean from now on.”

 

“Sam I let a ton of the shit he’s been dealing out this past week just roll off me because I knew it would do no good to harbor it up, but it’s hard when the barrage is coming from nearly sunup to sundown. “ Theo said sighing.

 

“I know. Let me handle Dean, you go on and get dressed I’ve got some material to go over with you and Dean which now strikes me as dangerously ironic. Don’t worry I’ll tell you in the office.” Sam said looking curiously at the bathroom for a moment. 

 

q95;


	2. Chapter 2

The shower beat down on Dean cleaning off the surface dirt but still leaving him feeling very dirty within. He washed mechanically and felt like a robot in that everything was being done by rote. He climbed out then and dried off, throwing the towel in the hamper he came out into a deserted bedroom, the guilt of his actions for the week hung heavily on his head. He looked around and saw a picture of them on one wall taken on a trip to Sun Valley, Idaho where they’d taken a ski-vacation. He smiled a bit thinking about that trip then he knew he was going to rue this week for a little while to come, so he braced up for the challenge. Standing he got dressed and walked into the office seeing that Theo was hovering over Sam’s shoulder looking at some data. Theo looked up and caught Dean’s eyes for a moment but long enough to see a smoldering look pass. Dean shivered at what Theo might have planned for retribution. He walked over and looked with Theo over Sam’s shoulder and Dean shivered again considering that Sam has succubus legend pulled up on screen.

 

“Sam I get the picture, I fucked up, okay, enough.”Dean said tiredly. Theo actually looked hurt at the tone and turned his attention from Dean back to the monitor quickly.

 

“Oddly this isn’t about what you’ve been doing. It about what is going on in California.” Sam said pulling up the descriptions of the deaths.

 

They sat around in the office now with Sam outlining what he had uncovered. Bobby came in from his showering and was filled in on the detail. “Sounds like a rash of this kind of activity going on.” Bobby said flatly.

 

Finally Dean could stand the looks no longer and walked over and reached out to Theo, Theo tentatively gave him his hand and Dean pulled him. They walked out together with Dean looking at Bobby with a finger over his lips. “Let them go they need to work this out.” Sam went back to his explanation to Bobby.

 

They walked until they came out into a little side garden. Dean turned and looked at Theo who was looking coolly appraising at Dean. 

 

“Theo, I am so sorry for what I’ve said and done this week. You know I would never intentionally do anything to hurt or harm you.” 

 

“Dean, you know I’m not a delicate flower, I won’t fall apart or go all ‘girly’ on you, but after putting up with a week of this nonstop verbiage I’ve had it.” Theo said sadly. “Maybe Sam is used to that kind of banter; I’m used to your moods and some of the banter. But like I said after a solid week of hearing nothing but cuts until nightfall…”

 

“I’m not good at romantic talk, Sam will tell you that in a heartbeat and you know it. But I’d soon cut off my right arm before I would intentionally cause you harm and what I’ve said, well I agree it was pretty raw and undeserved.” Dean said. “I love you Theo for you, I always have had, and I always will, nothing will change that. I’m sorry that I was weak enough to let that demon get through to me like that as well.” 

 

“Dean…”

 

“No,” he sighed then and went on, “I ain’t asking you to forget what I said, it’s pretty unforgettable, I wish I could, I’m not asking for your forgiveness, I just want us to move forward from here without using what happened as a weapon.”

 

“Dean shut up and come here.” With that Theo swept his strong arms around Dean and pulled him into a hug and kiss. They parted and noticed that each one had very wet cheeks.

 

“What are you crying for? I was the shit.” Dean said his breath hitching.

 

“Yes you were, but I can forgive your shit for what caused it, but next time I will exorcise you myself and I won’t be gentle about it. As it stands, we have an appointment with the rack tonight.” Theo said pulling Dean back into a hug and kiss, Dean broke it long enough to smile a bit.

 

“Aw you do love me.” 

 

They stood there in the hot afternoon sun wrapped in each other’s arms.

 

Sam and Bobby in the meantime had wore the information pretty much thin, they sifted it, found some plausible possibilities but it all pointed back to a possession in a particular area. Sam checked his system clock and noted that Dean and Theo had been gone for longer than what it should’ve taken for this to get worked out, worried that there might be hotter words to be exchanged or worse, blows, Sam looked at Bobby who checked his watch and then look pointedly at the door.

 

“You don’t think they’ve killed each other.” Bobby said half joking.

 

Sam stood, “One way to find out.” He walked out of the office followed by Bobby, they got to the bedroom and found it unoccupied then turned a corner leading to a little side garden that was a favourite spot to relax in at least for Sam. He looked through the glassed door and saw them standing off to one side embracing. Bobby took a look around the corner of Sam’s shoulders and snorted. 

 

“Hell I was hoping for a good knock down drag out.” 

 

“Not Theo’s style, besides Theo knows who’d win on that fight and it wouldn’t be Dean.” Sam said shaking his head in wonder then turning around and walking back to the office. “Come on, they’ll be in soon enough.” In the living room they settled back with soft drinks and were watching the television when Dean and Theo came into the room.

 

“Gonna go over that data a bit more?” Dean asked curiously.

 

“We can, it’s pretty cut and dried, 8 deaths, all sexually motivated, but all octogenarian and one confirm that the dead old guy was a young twenty something. No we gotta go Dean that’s all there is to it.” He paused. “I take it you boys got things worked out?” 

 

“Yeah, now that’s out of my system I won’t be near the bitch I’ve been being…”

 

“Oh yeah?” Sam said under his breath. 

 

Dean ignored him and continued, “and Theo will not clap a case of whup ass on me for being a bitch like that.” Then he looked at Sam and Bobby, “Why didn’t you two think of checking for something like that sooner?”

 

“Dean,” Sam started “remember back when Dad died? You shouldered that by yourself and eventually racked my ears with your abuse for months.” Sam held up his hand as Dean was about to speak, “and you did have some good times interspersed in there. For myself, I thought you were just having a problem dealing with some stress so I didn’t say anything in hopes you’d work it out, after all you fairly despise having me try to talk you through your problems.”

 

“Granted,” Dean accepted. “Still it was damned unlike you not to even consider that something might be strange going on.”

 

Sam nodded and looked at Theo then “for not checking this out sooner I owe you an apology, I guess I just think that everyone around me has the same thick skin. I didn’t take your feelings into consideration.”

 

“You’re not supposed to.” Bobby said drawing a stare from all three of them. “Think on it a moment, everybody says that “I didn’t take your feelings into consideration” when it shouldn’t be anyone’s job but the one in question as to whether they’re getting offended or not. Yeah it’s the polite thing but in this game I think we can all agree that sometimes we just don’t have time to be polite. We’ve got to go with gut feelings.” Then he looked at Dean, “and you, Mr. Smarty-pants should have known something was up sooner yourself if you’d stopped to take into consideration that your mood swings were polarized to the rise and set of the sun.”

 

Theo smiled a little bit, “You’re right Dean, he is pretty smart for an old guy.”

 

“I’ll old your fucking guy boy.” Bobby said looked at him crossly for a moment. 

 

They proceeded then to get printouts of the data they had set it up for later use. Then they piled into the Impala to go into town for supper. They took a basic poll and settled on Japanese, at least that way there was something for everyone’s taste. While sitting and waiting for the meal they knocked back two flasks of sake and were feeling relatively mellow by the time that supper did arrive. They’d chosen a private dining room and Sam went so far as to hire a geisha to come in and play while they dined. It was overall a pleasant affair finished up with shots of Johnny Walker scotch.

 

Finished they drove back out to the ranch and on coming in the back door, Dean turned to Bobby, “We’re going downstairs.”

 

“Fine you go downstairs, I’m going to bed.” He mumbled starting for his apartment. Dean opened the basement door and motioned them down. 

 

The basement was divided equally into a workout/sauna area and a playroom with all kinds of toys for the leather boys. Dean started stripping as soon as they entered the room and flipped on the lights. On one side of the room stood the item that Dean was looking for and he walked over partially cringing at what he was expecting and already feeling a tingle in his crotch for the same. It was the same cross they’d had and used in their smaller playroom at the trailer. Dean was naked by the time he reached it and looked at Theo.

 

“Heads or tails?” Dean asked.

“Tails to start with.” Theo said smiling. 

 

Sam proceeded to shackle Dean into place on the cross face down while Theo proceeded to bring the implements over that he was planning to use. First was a leather cat-o-nine-tails, then a riding crop, and finally a leather covered carved paddle. 

 

“For this you do not have permission to speak. You may use your index finger of your right hand only to signal us to cease, but you may not talk unless you get weak enough to use your safeword.” Theo said sternly. Then he flipped the cat-o-nine-tails on his hand and drew back sending the first stinging pop across Dean’s back, Dean stiffened on the cross but didn’t cry out. “Good you are not going to scream either? You are permitted sounds just no talking. Are we clear?” Silence from Dean, another swat of the flail, “ARE WE CLEAR?” 

 

Dean managed a grunt that sounded like assent. 

 

“Good for your misbehavior this week I say 15. Sam will keep count, but if you disobey in the slightest the count will start over are we agreed?”

 

Again the grunt. Theo nodded then drew back and began flailing across his shoulders and back. Dean finally did break with a scream after a while but he held on as long as he could. They were up to 8 strokes when Dean blurted, “SHIT” 

 

The flailing stopped and then restarted with Sam calling out 1…2…3, Dean’s eyes went wide with the strokes now, and he fought to keep from saying anything but that didn’t stop his screams. When the flail fell on the 15th stroke Theo praised his pupil and let the crop trace a pattern up his thighs then a quick pop and Dean had the crop struck across his thighs just below his buttocks. He stiffened slightly exhausted from the flailing. 

 

“I think 15 strokes with the crop will be a good repayment as well.” 

 

Dean made a sound of relief.

 

“To each leg, I will do the right, Sam you will do the left, same rules apply, you speak the count starts over.” 

 

The caning with the riding crop on his thighs was particularly painful to him as he knew that the stripes would send ripples upwards back into his back. He got through the 15 stripes from Theo without any trouble but when Sam started it was with a totally different hand and much stronger. Dean bridged up off the cross, “CHRIST!” He shouted.

 

“Well you’re fortunate that Sam only got three strokes in, and we still have the paddle to come.” Again Sam started the caning again this time causing Dean to bridge up and cry out from the pain in his abused back as well as what was happening to his thighs. Finally the 15th stroke was dealt and then all too soon the paddle was readied. He got a preliminary swat to prepare him for what was to come. “For the paddle since you’ve been a moderately good boy so far I say 8 swats would be sufficient.”

“EIGHT!” Dean bellowed out raged. 

 

“Ten.” Theo said, “I told you I was going to punish you for what you did this past week. You see we can’t just throw down and fight no matter how much you would like to, but we can do this. Oh don’t worry, you’ll get some time when I decide to give it to you to discipline me.

 

“Like hell! I’ll take my pound of flesh tomorrow night.” Dean gasped.

 

“That’s twelve.” Then his arm came up and the paddle came down, 9 solid swats with Dean screaming and writhing on the cross and then the requisite 3 swats after a momentary pause. Then Theo looked to Sam. “You may unshackle him now.” 

As soon as the wrist shackles were loosened Dean collapsed on the foam mat covered floor. But Theo was showing no mercy at this point. He let him catch his breath, Sam fed him some water from a bottle and then they rolled Dean onto his back, he screamed as he back came in contact with the mats surface. Theo smiled pleased to see that like him Dean’s dick was fully engorged and pulsing. Theo held out his hand and Sam obediently put a small leather band with snaps in the palm. Theo snapped the custom made cock ring around Dean’s dick causing his to howl in protest. 

 

“For this you may speak provided I like what you have to say, speak prettily to me and you will be treated fairly, speak abusive and you will receive what you give.” Theo advised, “Oh and Sam I see you’re in need as well, I’m going to be fucking Dean but you may have him suck you. Then he grinned at Sam, don’t worry I have a delightful breakfast treat in store for you.” Theo stood and walked over to a table and got a dollop of lube from a bottle. He slowly rubbed it on his dick as he walked languidly back over to Dean.

 

Then he knelt on the mat lifting Dean’s legs up and propping them on his shoulder as he quickly shoved his nine inches into Dean’s unprepared asshole. Dean bowed straight up screaming again in agony from both the entry and then the rawness of his ass. Theo pulled nearly completely out then shoved back in again, this pace went on for several minutes causing Dean to hover on the edge of consciousness as he was fucked. Sam in the meantime had straddle Dean’s face giving his dick for Dean to suck on, Sam bowed upwards in pleasure everything Dean screamed around his prick in his mouth, and the sensation was almost like having him give him a hummer. 

 

Theo rode him with both gentle and spanking strokes driving him up one extreme and then to another. Theo stroked Dean’s prick then rubbed his stomach sexily and then began to stroke Sam’s bud of an ass ring with both thumbs causing him to arch and purr as well. Then leaning forward he started a humping pace on Dean while rimming Sam. He gasped then feeling the forerunners of his orgasm on the way. Then leaning into the fucking pace ignoring Dean’s groans and moans, he gasped then arched upwards as it seemed for a moment that the lights flared brighter in the room with his orgasm. Which considering his spiritual make up was possible. 

 

Then he continued to lap at Sam’s ass until he felt the pucker pulse and heard Sam’s grunt, groan, and cry as he came. At which point Theo unsnapped the cock ring, Theo didn’t have to touch Dean who exploded in an orgasm which left him shaking. Theo and Sam gently dismounted him and then Theo rolled him over as Sam retrieved a stone pot from the table, Theo dipped his fingers into the ointment and smoothed it onto his back causing Dean to coo and nearly purr with delight. After liberally rubbing him down with the lotion they methodically helped him to his feet then over to the king sized futon mattress in the corner where they all lay down Sam getting up and killing the overhead lights with Theo turning the small bedside lamp on. Dean lay on his stomach facing them and weakly grinning a silly little grin. They left the covering off for the night to give the lotion a chance to do its work overnight. Dean moaned and groaned through the night as he tried to lay on his side once or twice. Sam woke facing him he reached up and stroked Dean’s face until he felt the even breathing again.

 

They were unsure as to what time it was when they woke up, Dean was the first to wake, his pain somewhat abated but not completely gone. He pushed himself to his knees first groaning, and then slowly stood, hobbling painfully over to his stack of clothing, He reached down and freed his watch from the mess and yelped. 

 

“10:00!” He then made the sad mistake of straightening up in surprise only to let out a cry of pain.

 

Sam and Theo rolled over and looked at him partly with pity then Theo rose up and walked over to him giving him a hug, and letting his palms play down his back healing abused muscle and tissue alike. He intentionally left the sore ass that would not hamper his performance during the day. Dean straightened up again and pleased with the reduction in pain kissed Theo thoroughly. Sam walked over and swatted Dean’s buns causing him to hiss and yelp in pain. He turned around to Sam.

 

“Good morning to you too sweetheart.” He said sarcastically then gave him a kiss. 

 

They wandered upstairs carrying their clothing and then through the house to the bedroom where they emptied pockets and threw the clothes in the hamper. 

 

Dean looked around at Theo as he started to climb into the shower, “Well you said you were going to make me pay for my attitude. Did you get paid adequately?”

 

Theo climbed in behind him with Sam bringing up the rear. “Oh I got paid well with a tip as well.” He said merrily laughing. 

 

Then Dean looked around at Sam, “And you were hell with that riding crop.”

 

“You just forgot that I like to make the blows count.” Sam said jokingly.

 

The morning shower over and done with, they climbed out and dried out drying off and then throwing on their robes they went into the kitchen when they heard a roar coming across the garage.

 

“Well that would be Bobby having slept off that scotch.” Sam said spritely. Bobby knocked twice and then came on in looking bleary eyed. 

 

“Coffee on?” He growled.

 

“Just put in on should be up in a minute. Did that scotch get you that bad?” Dean asked.

 

“No but some of your screaming did.” Bobby said crossly.

 

“Oh sorry.” Dean actually had the good grace to blush. “Wait a minute the playroom is soundproofed.”

 

“Obviously not for your hell-screams.” Castiel said appearing at Theo’s elbow at the table. 

 

“Hell screams?” Dean asked.

 

Castiel looked at him evenly, “When I pulled you out of there you were being suspended over the pit by hooks and chain, you evidently pissed someone off. Your screams were memorable.”

 

“Thanks for the reminder.” Dean said grumping. 

 

Then Castiel looked at Theo, “You really need to find another outlet, there are some in heaven that are talking about the angel that’s a leather master.”

 

“Good talk?” Theo asked hopefully.

 

“Some.” Castiel actually smiled a bit at this. 

 

“Did you know of Dean’s little problem this past week?” Sam asked.

 

Castiel did the obvious and nodded, “It was evident after we got back from that hunt.”

 

“Thanks for the warning.” Dean growled.

 

Theo looked at Dean then Castiel, “A warning wouldn’t have helped would it?”

 

“Nope” Castiel replied, “As hardheaded stubborn as this one is he would have refused to believe he could be possessed so easily.”

 

The coffee ready, Dean got up and poured cups all around then started a second pot. He sat down gingerly. “Still a warning would’ve been nice.”

 

“Not really, you were due to have your world rocked a little bit.” Castiel told him. “Dean you can’t have strawberries and cream all the time, you have to have good and bad, you have both on the road but here at home you only work to have the good, it’s time a little domestic dispute was permitted to percolate.”

 

“Whose idea was that?” Sam asked, “Oh wait, one of two either God or Joshua and this is just a quirk that God would get a chuckle out of.” 

 

Castiel nodded, “That was the general idea, to get you folk to mix it up bad enough to appreciate one another more.”

 

“Well it worked.” Dean said tiredly.

 

Castiel looked at Dean appraisingly. “Yes I believe it did otherwise I was under orders to undo the healing that Theo did for you.” Castiel sighed, “God is serious about keep your four on your “A” game as often as possible, you did great in the Pre-Apocalyptic War, he wants to keep you sharp.”


	3. Chapter 3

Sam looked at Castiel evenly, “Great, care to enlighten the masses as to why we are being kept this sharp?”

 

“I have no idea.” Castiel said truthfully. 

 

Dean threw up his hands regretting the motion as it pulled through his back and ass. 

 

So Castiel sat down joined them for more coffee while they breakfasted then took Dean for a walk out onto the property for a moment. Sam, Theo, and Bobby were left in the house with Sam and Theo to clear up breakfast while Bobby excused himself to go take a shower. Sam and Theo were just finishing loading the dishwasher and starting the cycle when the back door opened as Castiel and Dean came back indoors. Dean walked over to Theo, grasped him by the shoulders and gave him a huge hug. Then excused himself to go look over the basic data for the hunt carefully. 

 

“Ok what was that about?” Theo asked his superior.

 

“I just reminded Dean how close he was to losing you, because you were about to the point of being called home. We tolerate a great deal, but consistent abuse of one of our kind is not tolerated.” Castiel said.

 

Sam shot the angel a glare, “Thanks man for undoing all the good work that we’ve managed to get done.” Castiel gave him a ‘what’ look. Sam went on, “the play we had last night was sufficient to expiate his guilt and it satisfied matters. Things were going on swimmingly until you had that board meeting just now out there.” Sam threw a towel he’d been using to wipe down the table into the sink and disappeared back towards the office.

 

“Did you just understand any of that?” Castiel said.

 

Theo smiled a bit, “I’m coming to, all I can say for sure is that it’s a human thing they do.” Then he sat down at the table motioning Castiel to take a seat. “You’re saying that I was at the point of being ordered out because Dean was possessed which you knew of and didn’t tell him about?”

 

“I didn’t say it made sense.” Castiel said shaking his head. 

 

Theo sighed and looked at his hands. “Let me try to explain this so that you may relate it to the others. “Humans, those who are in these communities where pain equals pleasure, sometimes let the aggrieved party do the abusing of the abuser, in a way it frees their spirit and brings them peace.”

 

“Peace through pain.” Castiel grimaced.

 

“I didn’t say the explanation would make sense either, I’m just saying what is.” Theo went on, “Dean apologized after the exorcism yesterday, that was step one, the abuse of him last night was step two, and my healing him this morning was step three. Through three steps we took care of what the cadre were about to step in on.” 

 

He looked at Castiel his eyes soulful, “As much as it may pain some of them up there, I’m not a child anymore, I can make decisions, I’m not a drone, but an angel, maybe not as powerful as some, and more than others, but I can make my own decisions and I would prefer to, I’ve been with them for 12 years. 12 years Castiel, that seems like an eye blink to us and it is but to mortals it’s just over a tenth of a century, a span of time in their way of rendering time. I’ll live forever or at least until I get careless or something happens to terminate me. This shell I’m living in will grow old and die eventually, for the time I’m with them I want to experience it all, the warts and bumps as well as the good times. Is that so hard to understand?”

 

Castiel smiled at the angel, “No it’s not that hard, I felt the same way once, many centuries ago, I guess I’ve matured along the way and I’m not as altruistic as I would like to be. Go ahead enjoy your time with them, have the good times now and learn much, for me I’m going ahead to scout out this situation a bit then I’ll come back.” With that Castiel stood and absently he patted Theo on the shoulder then was gone. 

 

Theo rose and walked through the living room and down the hallway to the office. There he found Dean and Sam going over data with Dean looking very purposeful. Theo walked over to him and smiled at him then bent to meet him with a kiss. Dean’s knees buckled and he missed falling to the floor by Theo’s catching him. Sam looked askance at him. 

 

Theo smiled, “That little walk they took will not even be a memory to him now.” 

 

Slowly Dean straightened up and shook his head. “Damn last night must’ve zapped me worse than I thought.”

 

“Possibly, we did play hard.” Theo said with a grin to both and catching Sam’s eye got a silent ‘thank you.’ 

 

“Loved every minute of it, well almost every minute, those lashes were good, the caning all right, but those paddles stung a bit.” Dean said gingerly rubbing his ass.

 

So they finished going over the data and got some packing done. Theo let them in on the fact that Castiel had gone ahead to scout it out and would be getting back in contact with them as soon as he had something to go on, which gave them time for Sam and Theo to have a delightful romantic moment while Dean proceeded to go out to the barn with Bobby and work on the cars. 

 

In the afterglow of the moment Sam and Theo lay snuggled just enjoying each other’s body. Sam looked at Theo, “You’re not going to get in any trouble with the God squad are you?”

 

Theo thought the problem through and shook his head, “They can censure me, scold me, but I’m making the decisions down here on this mission and they have to abide by the laws of non-interference that governs us.” Theo crossed his arms behind his head and lay there thinking. “You see if we are on a mission, we being angels, not cherubs, or juniors, but full angels, they can bitch, gripe, moan, and groan all day long, but they can’t interfere. That’s why when Castiel said what he did to Dean, well, I about went ballistic at the table. This is my mission, not his, you both are in my charge as far as heaven is concerned, he is assisting and advisory. He can even participate, but active intervention has to go through me. The only thing is that he sometimes treats me as if I were a junior angel.”

 

“Because sometimes you act like one.” A voice came from the bedroom door; they looked up startled to see Castiel standing there. Now it was Sam’s turn to be incensed.

 

“Castiel, do you make it a practice to listen in to all the happenings with human kind.”

 

“Where it concerns heavenly matters, yes.” 

 

“So it would basically be impossible for Theo and me to have a PRIVATE chat.” Sam said stressing Private.

 

Castiel had the good grace to look embarrassed and covered by diving straight to the point he wanted to make. “I know what you did Theo, and while I can say that I don’t wholly approve I understand the motive better.”

 

Sam pressed the issue, “You didn’t answer my question Castiel, is it possible for Theo and I to have a private chat or is there someone up there listening to every nuance that passes between us.” Now Sam was starting to turn angry.

 

Castiel looked at Theo, “He knows how to block thought going heavenward. As to your petty concerns about privacy, there is a greater picture at stake.”

 

“DAMN IT CASTIEL, Our privacy is not a matter of petty concern. There are some things that we humans take very seriously, to deny our privacy is to abrogate our free will, thus those who deny us privacy are flipping off God.” Sam argued hotly.

 

Castiel flushed a moment then tried to school his face but with effort, “You make a good point, you should’ve been a lawyer, you can certainly hold your own in a debate.” He sighed deeply, “I will give you both every break that I can but there are times when your privacy must take second place to the greater issues. Will that satisfy?”

 

“No, but it will have to do.” With that Sam snaked an arm underneath Theo’s neck and pulled him into an embrace. “So what do you have for us?”

 

“If you are attempting to shame me with your actions, give up, I’ve walked in on you and Dean before and was only slightly put out.” Castiel said admonishingly. “All right, I’ve narrowed the attacks down to a singular area so whoever this demon is she is prowling a specific area. But what disturbs me is that she is targeting gay men, not women, which if that was her intent, but gay men, she’s not only out feasting she’s actually trying to score political points as well, sick.” 

 

Sam lay there for a long moment and nodded, “Very, does she have an attack pattern?”

 

Castiel nodded as well, “Yes, she is attacking between six bars, in a 12 block radius. Sam I hate to say it but with the rabbit warren that makes up San Francisco, I’m afraid that one of you four is going to have to be a guinea pig and set her up.”

 

Sam shook his head solemnly, “I don’t like the sound of that.” 

 

Castiel looked at them and crooked his head momentarily. “Neither do I but we don’t have much choice otherwise. Where are Dean and Bobby?”

 

“In the barn, come on let’s go out there they need to know about this.” Sam said throwing back the sheet and levering himself and Theo up. 

 

“Sam, these games are beneath you.” Castiel prompted.

 

“Oh you mean me and Theo? Sorry but we were enjoying a moment to ourselves.” Sam said hotly. “I understand why you need to step in from time to time like that, but when you come in responding like that to private conversation that in the parlance of this generation, is tactless.”

 

“I apologize I didn’t mean to put you in a difficult spoke but at the same time, if you have an issue which concerns me I would appreciate it if you address me about it directly.” Castiel said hurt.

 

“I’m sorry Cas, but there are times when it is necessary for us to react like this when we are pressed. It’s a quirk of human nature.” Sam and Theo dressed quickly and the three of them walked out to the garage. Inside Dean was busy with the cutting torch on the Chevy body, while Bobby was hand rubbing down the finish on the Thunderbird. It was a beautiful sky blue with shining chrome and luscious dark blue upholstery. 

 

“Did a good job with the bird that should bring about $150 thou.” Bobby said appraisingly. Dean looked up as he heard the door open and saw Castiel along with Sam and Theo enter. Dean looked up quickly and cut the torch off, he and Bobby joined them with Dean looking expectant.

 

“You’ve got some news then?” Dean asked.

 

Castiel nodded his own misgivings prominent, “I do and it’s not totally good. The demon is tracked down to a 12 block area, but that’s the best I can do for the moment she is moving fast and not giving me a chance to lock her down. What’s going to have to happen is that one of you, not you Theo, and certainly not me will have to be a guinea pig and set her up. Worse, Theo and I will have to remain here while the setup is going on, so this means you’ll be on your own until the attack occurs.”

 

Dean looked at him coldly, not at him but at the situation, “So who is she attacking then?”

 

“She’s making some kind of statement in that she is attacking gay men. Healthy gay men. Healthy, young, gay men.”

 

Bobby frowned at him, “Well you needn’t have looked at me to start with, I can play a lot of roles, but I’ve never had to play a queer and couldn’t if I wanted to now at least not to make it convincing.” Bobby looked at the boys for a moment and then nodded, “Sam or Dean is it? Sam would be the logical choice for the job. He’s younger than Dean. And Dean, you just look straight.” 

 

Dean smiled a bit, “Comes in handy from time to time.” Then “Okay so Sammy has to be the pigeon, what do we do just sit by and wait?” 

 

“Sam will take an apartment in the strike zone, you and Bobby will take one just outside of the area to protect you. You will need to set up a way to communicate and be able to do it quickly. Bobby you’ll have to play a role in this, sorry but you’ll have to be Dean’s partner.”

 

“She’ll see right through me.” Bobby said arguing.

 

“Not if you keep your temper throttled up, we don’t go in looking terrible butch or femme, but we go in together. We can do it.” Dean assured him.

 

“I’m not so sure.” Bobby said reticent. 

 

Dean walked over to him and put an arm around his waist, he immediately felt Bobby stiffen. Dean pulled back laughing and punched his friend in the arm. “You see that’s what I’m talking about, we can go in as ourselves we look like a very butch couple and we’ll be left alone.” 

 

“You really think so?” Bobby said looking at Dean uncomfortably.

 

“I’m sure of it.” Dean answered.

 

They all stopped work and went back into the house, there as they sat around with either soft drinks or beer at hand they talked about the possibilities of the case. Dean at one pointed looked directly at Castiel and motioned him aside.

 

“You can’t be there because her angel radar will catch you up so how are you going to be able to home in on us, after all we have the engraving you put on our bones?”

 

“Well there are a number of ways some less tasteful than others, but the simplest way is for you to simply call me on your cell.”

 

“And if we’re in the middle of being aged?” Dean asked.

 

“Call fast.” Castiel advised.

 

Dean settled back and looked at the angel, “So when do we set this up?”

 

Castiel thought for a moment, “You three go ahead say leaving today, get set up in a place and then start bar hopping. I’ll provide you with a list of the bars that she’s been known to frequent.” 

 

Castiel turned to the others. “Her name is unimportant as she changes it from person to person, her description is however very important.” Castiel then went into detail describing the ‘meat suit’ this demon was wearing down to the very essence. They all had a mental picture in place of this one and by the late afternoon they’d packed up and were ready to go again.

 

Sam looked around the house tiredly, “It seems like we no sooner get in from a job than we have to go out again. Oh well, comes with the territory.” He muttered. Then he and Dean got liberal goodbyes from Theo who was naturally worried about them it was then that Theo spoke up.

 

“Castiel we won’t have to use a cell phone to target them, you got me!” Theo said excitedly. “Damn I’m slow not to have thought of this earlier, but you can use me as a way to get to them.”

 

Castiel looked at Theo, “What exactly are you talking about? With those Enochian symbols on them they are invisible to us.”

 

“Blood, Castiel, Sam and I are blood bonded and the Lord knows I’ve taken enough of their own selves over the years that we’re practically joined at the hip physically.” Theo said starting to vibrate.

 

Dean walked over then and put hands on Theo’s shoulders and grinned, “Okay baby bear, calm down, we get the picture.” 

 

Sam piled into Theo’s Shelby and Dean and Bobby took the Impala, they bid the others goodbye again and were soon on the road towards California. They travelled most of the day and into the night late until at last Dean called Sam who was just ahead of him on the interstate. 

 

“Hey bro, I saw where there is a Best Western at this next exit, let’s take that and get a room.”

 

“Sounds like a winner to me, I’m pooped.” Sam admitted.

 

They pulled off the interstate and booked a room, Bobby insisted on getting a room to himself but Sam and Dean told him to give over and take a room with them, they promised not to keep him awake with their antics, besides as they pointed out he would have to eventually get used to being in close contact, real close contact with gay men. Bobby grumbled that it was not as a great of a problem for him as they might think.

 

“Damn it you’d think I’d never slept with another guy.” Bobby said tiredly in the room.

 

Dean looked askance, “You have?!” 

 

Bobby eyed him quickly. “Boy when you’re out on a hunt you have to do a lot of things you may not be comfortable with. I don’t mind hanging around homosexuals, hell I live with y’all, but well…”

 

“Sexual play makes you uncomfortable.” Sam said conclusively.

 

Bobby nodded, “Yeah actually it does. I don’t know why, I guess it’s my own guilty nature, you see boys…” He paused as if the admission was costing him, “No…not now.” Bobby clamped down. Dean and Sam nodded respecting his privacy.

 

Dean and Sam looked at each other then considered a long moment before answering, “It’s something of Dad we suspected, hell he made use of us as kids,” Bobby’s eyes bugged. “No use denying it, we were sexually abused as kids, but we knew to keep our mouths shut if we wanted to keep dad and us safe.” Sam said quickly. “I think that’s one reason why me and dad would get into fights so much. He would come to me to use me but I would fight him. It made him feel stronger when he could subdue me, but I never let on.” Sam was looking down at his hands now and feeling the shame burning his cheeks. “I never let on.” He said in a ghost of a whisper.

 

Dean leaned into him and hugged him. “It’s okay bro, that’s over and done with it’s just us now.”

 

Bobby leaned forward and clapped a strong hand on Sam’s knee, “Boy you don’t let that go to your head now, it’ll fuck with you worse than a 2 dollar hooker in Vegas. You gotta bury that for this trip, we can talk it out later at home but for now, let’s push that aside.”

 

Sam was undeterred, “Don’t you understand Bobby, I’ve been pushing that down and aside all my life, I’ve tried not admitting it to myself and tried to ignore the feelings it provokes. But it’s just no good. There are times when I feel really down about this and I can’t reason it out. I guess that’s one reason I like to play rough sometimes, to get it out of my system like a slow poison.”

 

“Sam” Dean started.

 

Sam would give ground on this matter, not now. “No Dean, dad fucked with us that’s all there is to it. He fucked us and fucked with us.” Sam stood, “I’m going to take a walk to clear my head I’ll be back in a little bit.” And he was out the door.

 

Dean looked to Bobby, Bobby was the one who started this round. “Boy you’ve got a hell of a problem with him.”

 

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Dean said miserably.

 

Bobby shook his head and looked out the window, “Well he better find a way to dump that garbage and soon.”

 

Sam in the meantime merely started walking that access road that the motels and restaurants were sitting on his mind clouded with the meandering thoughts of his childhood, those nights when Dean would be asleep in his bed when they were in places with separate beds and John would come in and drag usually Sam, sometimes Dean out of the bed, the one left behind only hoped that their father was too drunk to know what he was doing but sometimes he assaulted them dead sober. And there were many nights that Dean would hear Sam crying himself to sleep and some nights when Sam tried to pretend he didn’t hear his brother doing the same thing. He was lost deep in thought when he saw how far down the road he’d hiked, he was a good three miles from the motel, so smiling slightly to himself he turned and started back up the road getting lost in thought again as he remember the drunken rampages that John would get into between hunts, he wished that he knew why all this was leeching out of his system now, it was painful, it was useless, and it was pointless. He knew all this but he kept grasping it holding it in like his own private poisoned oasis for him to lounge at. A single tear tracked his cheek and he wiped angrily at it. He would not give in and give even the memory of John that satisfaction. He walked with purpose now and pretty soon he caught the sign of the motel and finally the motel, he walked around to the room and opened the door. 

 

Dean and Bobby were sitting there on respective beds watching television. Nothing unusual, Dean looked up at him as he came in and didn’t say anything for a moment.

 

“Get yourself walked out?” Bobby asked.

 

“Yeah.” Sam answered tiredly.

 

Dean looked at him concerned, “We were starting to get worried about you.”

 

“Sorry.” Sam started again. 

 

Dean sat up and switched the set off something that Sam had wished he hadn’t done because he didn’t want to adventure through that mire again. Once was enough.

 

Dean looked at him thoughtfully, “Still mulling over what dad did and didn’t do?” 

 

Sam sighed and sat on the foot of the bed, dropping his hands between his splayed legs. He let his head sag a bit mainly because he was mentally and emotionally spent for the time being.

 

“Can we drop that for a while, please?” Sam asked.

 

“You all right son?” Bobby asked concern ripe in his voice.

 

“No, not really, but I just don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m sorry Dean, I’m sorry for all those times I was such an ass in trying to make you talk out your problems, it just doesn’t work that well.” Sam said finally.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean leaned forward and clapped Sam on the shoulder. “What’s really bothering you right now?”

 

Sam turned and looked at them his face haunted and somewhat gaunt with the expenditure of emotion, “What’s wrong? What’s wrong is that I’m having my childhood play over and over in my mind, I remember every nuance every time I came back to my bed after having “helped daddy out”, I remember how I cried, hell I remember how you cried when he did the same to you and you were already 18. I remember when you finally shut the door on your emotions and wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing that in you. I remember it all and it’s gnawing at me.” Again he wiped angrily at his cheeks as tears trickled down, finally Dean reached out and grabbed him in that big brother hug he would always use at times when John had stepped too far over the line. Sam broke, like fine china his emotions flooded out of him. Bobby came over and sat on the other side of him with a firm grip on his arm.

 

It was on the tip of Bobby’s tongue to say something like, “Don’t go on like this over John, he ain’t worth it.” But he kept his counsel to himself and just let Sam vent out the poison in his soul. 

 

Dean looked at Bobby and by way of explanation quietly said, “He did the same thing for me when I’d had a belly full of dad.” So Dean sat there rocking his broken brother in his arms giving him a chance to vent out 30 years of anguish. 

 

It was on into the evening and Sam had finally got the worst of it out of him when Dean piped up, “Hey anybody else hungry?” There was a weak assent from Sam and a nod from Bobby they walked out of their room and up to the front of the motel and looked across the street and to the side, they had a choice of a Waffle House, a McDonald’s, and a local diner. 

 

Bobby pointed to the local diner, “There, at least we know what to expect and you don’t have to deal with the corporate mentality.” 

 

They went in and were seated then they ordered, the waitress giving Dean an extra look before leaving the table. He sat back and sighed. “God do I look that bad?” He asked no one in general. Suddenly a man with tousled hair, a smiling face and dressed out in a rumpled suit, overcoat and trainers was standing beside the table. He pulled up a chair and sat down with them for the moment.

 

“Actually yes you do.” God said quietly.

 

“Do you always arbitrarily visit people around the globe?” Dean asked puzzled.

 

“Sometimes, especially when they work as hard as they do like you folk.” He said smiling all around.

 

Bobby sat up a little straighter in his chair and looked on carefully.

 

“Pain has a way of accruing and when it does it saps you of your abilities.” He reached out a gentle hand and caressed Sam’s face, “Your pain does not become you, be at peace my child.” With that he was gone and Dean, Bobby and Sam were sitting there with slight agog looks. Sam’s brow was a bit less careworn, and his eyes lost that haunted look, he actually attempted a smile when he looked around at Bobby, “We attract the oddest people sometime.” 

 

“You ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie.” Bobby said amused. “Does he do that often to you?” 

 

“Not as much as he did for a while, I kinda figured we may have dropped off his radar for a while, looks like we’re back on.” Dean said looking at the empty chair. 

 

They ate their meal with little conversation; they knew that in about two days time they would be probably in a fight for their lives so talk was kept to a minimum and hope was pushed to the maximum.

 

“Do you expect we’ll have any luck trolling for this demon soon after we get there?” Sam asked.

 

Bobby laughed slightly, “With our luck she’s probably waiting for us to knock our heads in. Speaking of which you need to start getting in the mental framework of what you’re going to be doing.” 

 

“You’re one to talk.” Dean said looking at the old hunter.

 

“I’m ready, nervous but ready.” Bobby said truthfully.

 

“Okay let’s go to a bar.” Dean said looking at both Sam and Bobby. “We find a gay bar and go to it.”

 

“Dude, it’s not like they overtly advertise.” Sam said with a smile.

 

Dean looked at him scoldingly, “I know that but there’s gotta be a gay bookstore around, I mean we’re getting closer to California.”

 

“Man we’re still in the Bible belt.” Sam chided.

 

“I still want to go to a bar. I don’t care any bar, take your pick, just someplace we can get the atmosphere back. Hell, do you realize just how long it’s been since we went into a bar?” Dean looked at Sam over that. Sam shrugged and picked up the phone book flipping through the yellow pages.

 

“Hey, Dean, there’s a bookstore downtown…”

 

“No, we go there we’ll never get you out.” Dean started.

 

Sam scowled for a moment then looked back at the phone book, “They advertise that they serve the diverse community. That screams ‘gay’. We check that out and I’m sure we’ll be able to tag a bar that’s gay friendly.”

 

Bobby was looked decidedly uncomfortable but managed to maintain some dignity. “Well let’s get on to this place, where’s it located?”

 

Sam got the address, mapquested it from their location and they got in the car to drive through the downtown district. They found the store without too much problem, going in Dean did notice male couples and female couples so this was promising. Sam went over and picked up a coffee table book by one of his favourite photographers and walked up to the counter.

 

“That didn’t take you long.” The young clerk said smiling.

 

“No I pretty much knew what I was looking for and I knew you’d have it.” Sam said smiling back. He paid the clerk and then asked. 

 

Hey we’re kind of new around here and still getting the feel of the area, can you recommend a good night spot? Something not really leather but with the attitude.” Sam said resting his hand on his belt buckle causing the clerk to fluster a bit before answering.

 

““Cowarts” over on Aurora is real nice, they don’t get the yuppie crowd, so you’d fit right in. I’m Sean by the way.” The clerk extended his hand in greeting, Sam returned the handshake lingering just a moment before releasing his hand.

 

Sam asked, “One of your spots?” 

 

Sean pinked a bit around the ears, “Well I do go there from time to time.”

 

Sam smile broadly causing the lovely dimples to appear. “Great, maybe we’ll see you there tonight. My brother and his friend are looking for a spot to chill out, me I’m looking for some action.”

 

Sam tossed him a wink as they left. In the parking lot Dean nearly doubled over laughing. “God damn but you had that boy squirming in his pants; he’s probably throwing wood over that!” 

 

“That’s the idea.” Sam said following the boy’s directions they soon found Cowarts. They paid their cover charge and went into a bar that was almost leather but not quite, there was a sense of dozen of alphas in there with their betas close at hand. They walked up to the bar and ordered drinks then looked around the room, there was a dance floor, a runway where a young well developed biker type was busy dancing and mentally stroking the dicks of at least a dozen men gathered around the edge of the runway. The dance floor was lively and as Dean and Bobby finished their beer they were about to order another round when Sam spoke up.

 

“Bobby looks like he needs to be out there on the dance floor.”

 

“Oh no I don’t.” Bobby said defiantly.

 

“Fit in.” Dean whispered loudly. Bobby grousing accompanied Dean out on the floor and they started gyrating, with Bobby surprising Dean with some of his moves. Sam laughed heartily and turned to face a gorgeous blond, well built bartender.

 

“What’ll it be handsome.” The bartender said smiling at Sam. 

 

“Set me up with another one of these.” He said putting his glass back on the counter.

 

“Long Island Tea coming up sweetie.” As he was making the drink he looked at Sam, “You’re new around here aren’t ya?” 

 

“Just got into town how could you tell.”

 

The bartender smiling leaned forward, “Cause you’re casually uncomfortable in here.”

 

“I’m looking.” Sam answered with a grin.

 

“Oh man I wish I was off the clock, you wouldn’t be looking for long.” Sam paid for the drink with a generous tip to him. Then impulsively leaned forward over the bar the bartender leaning forward as well as they exchanged a kiss over the bar.

 

“Nice.” Sam said with a grin.

 

“You’ll find plenty of nice around this part of town.” He said grinning.

 

They talked some while he continued to mix drinks and wait on other customers, Sam found out his name was Tommy, he was 28 and single, reputably well hung with no complaints. Sam did ask him what time he got off work and Tommy frowned, “2 a.m., I’ve got to close.”

 

“Oh baby, you’ll be exhausted.” Another drink order in and Tommy came back pushing a coaster at Sam with a number written on it, “I’m off Saturday give me a call.”

 

“Hey I don’t want to get up any hopes, after all I’m on the rebound, I’m not looking for a long term thing.” Sam admitted honestly.

 

To which Tommy had to grin, “Neither am I sweetie, I’m just looking for someone to play with.”

 

“I think I could oblige you there.” Sam said with a grin. Just then the door opened and the clerk from the bookstore came in just as Bobby and Dean were coming off the floor with Dean looking more than a bit surprised. They ordered up beers and were busily drinking on them when Sam eyed the table that the clerk went to in a remote corner and smiling he ordered a couple of beers looked at Dean and smiled then bent over to him.

 

“Don’t get jealous but I think I got lucky.” He whispered with his mouth touching Dean’s ear, to which Dean leaned over similarly and said with a very big grin, “Go for it!”

 

With that Sam took the beers and strolled over to the table and passing one to the young clerk he sat down next to him so that their thighs were touching. 

 

“I’m Sam by the way.” 

 

“Scott, Scotty.” Scott said smiling and taking a sip of his beer.

 

“You like it rough?” Sam asked.

“Man you don’t waste time do you?” Scotty said with a grin.

 

“Life’s too short.” Sam proceeded to twine fingers through Scotty’s hair and pull him into a kiss. 

 

The young clerk melted on the spot and then grinning, “I like it soft, rough, your choice.”

 

“Well I like to see what’s on the menu before I make my order.” Sam said with a grin.

 

Scott slid down in his seat a bit and unzipped his fly pulling out a throbbing cock that would probably have easily measured six and half to seven. 

 

“Nice menu. Mind if I sample the vintage? Uh you’re clean aren’t you?” Sam asked.

 

Scotty grinning produced his health department card, “Just certified again. Clean as a whistle.” 

 

“Well baby doll let me blow on that whistle of yours.” Sam bent down and took his cock in his mouth teasing and sucking on it until all too quickly the boy running his fingers through Sam’s hair gasped and bucked shooting his load into Sam’s mouth, Sam looked up and smiled.

 

“A regular little minuteman missile.” 

 

“Not all the time, but it’s been a while for me.” 

 

Sam nodded and still smiling, “Don’t worry, it’s been a while for me as well.”

 

Sam eased down in his seat and unzipped pulling out his erection and aiming it for the boy who looked in awe and immediately began to suckle him, tonguing him expertly and making Sam realize that youth’s not a bad thing. Sam was lost in the sensation when suddenly the boy was yanked upwards by the back of his collar, a towering jock standing there looking at him and then at Sam and his erection that was bobbing waiting for attention. Sam grimaced at the intruder.

 

“Wait your turn. It is impolite to interrupt.” 

 

“Fuck you, Scott what did I tell you about the next time I caught you messing around?” 

 

“Jimmy, it’s not like you’ve been all that anxious about showing me attention. You’ve not let me give you a blow job in…”Jimmy shook Scott by the collar like a mongrel puppy. Sam had already zipped back up and knew what was about to transpire. 

 

“Jimmy, I seriously do not think you want to continue this line of questioning in here, so why not take your sorry ass to the bar and leave us alone.” Sam said standing now, towering over Jimmy.

 

“I think you want fuck off before you get hurt.” Jimmy said bringing out a blade, Sam reacted instinctively and batted the wrist aside nearly breaking and only not punching the dude out by the fact that the bouncer had made it over to their table. He recognized the boy and took him by the arm.

 

“You can leave here on your feet or on your back, doesn’t matter to me, but you’ve fucked with my patrons in this bar for the last time.” The bouncer a 6’6” wide shouldered man looked at Sam. “You all right mister?”

 

“I’m fine, you’ll find his blade somewhere on the floor.” One of the patrons held it out to the bouncer by the blade. 

 

“Here you go, it bounced off my boot.” Now the bouncer’s look turned mean as he closed and pocketed the blade. 

 

“Guess what you get to wait in our little office for people like you while I call the cops.” The bouncer emphasized his displeasure by clamping down on Jimmy’s bicep causing the other to wince painfully.

 

“Look let me go and I’ll never be back in here.”

 

“Too late for that bucko.” He walked Jimmy to the back away from Scott who sat back at his table looking very, very scared. Then he broke down in tears. Sam sat back down next to him and shouldered him gently getting approving looks from nearby tables plus a round bought for them.

 

“Scotty, I know this is none of my business, but I’m telling you right now, get down to the police station before the cops get here and get a TRO sworn out on him. He’ll be back around your door if you don’t .” Sam said quietly to him.

 

Through his tears and gulps, Scott looked up at Sam. “I’m sorry I’m such a wuss about this. But he’s been like that like for months.”

 

“And you’ve put up with it?” Sam said. “Dude you’re better than that, do what I said. I’ll be back around later, I’ve got to ride in the California to take care of some business but I’ll be back and we’ll do this proper, okay?”

 

“O-Okay.” The boy said through his tears and he got up, and started to the door. Sam got up and caught up with him.

 

“Get that restraining order sworn out on him. That’s your only protection against scum like that.”

 

After Scott left Dean and Bobby caught up with him and ushered him to the door. 

 

“Come on we gotta ride right now.” Bobby said. Dean nodded and they walked out the door to a smattering of applause. The bouncer looked approvingly at Sam and nodded. 

 

“Come back tomorrow and the cover charge is on me.” He said. 

 

“Thanks!” Sam said as he and the others started for the parking lot. Right then a cruiser pulled up in front of the bar and two uniformed cops got out and started for the door. 

 

They pulled away from the bar and headed back to their hotel, at the Best Western they proceed to entertain each other by telling of their progress that evening. Bobby was definitely not feeling his oats as the first place he headed on getting in was a hot shower to ease up some joints that he was sure would be talking to him later. Sam and Dean lay back on the bed with Sam telling Dean about his hooking the young clerk and getting the bartenders phone number as well as a free drink. Dean was suitably impressed. Slightly jealous but impressed. 

 

After they’d all showered for the evening the first order of business was to crawl into bed and call it a night which they all thought was a sterling idea. The next morning they breakfasted early then struck out on hopefully the last leg of their journey with Bobby complaining about joints he didn’t know he had that were talking after the night on that dance floor. They did cover quite a bit of mileage that day and were within about 100 miles of the California border when they stopped for the evening. The town that they decided to use as their stopover was a quiet little place with hardly anything to recommend it. After dining at a local diner they set out for the night their plans for the next day, Sam and Dean scanned the internet for possible rentals in the downtown district while Bobby checked into his own room to look over their supplies and laid in some extra items into their working bags. Finally satisfied that for rooms they would have to scour the local papers when they got into town. 

 

Bobby did look to Sam at one point, “Are you all right?”

 

“Sure, yeah, why?” Sam answered.

 

Dean chimed in, “Because you’ve been pretty much quiet all evening.”

 

“Nah, everything’s cool, I guess I’m just getting psyched up for the evening tomorrow when I have to go it on my own.”

 

Dean looked up at Sam and nodded then sat the magazine he was looking at down and turned to his brother. “Some ground rules.”

 

“Ok I’m good with that idea.” Sam responded.

 

Dean swallowed a bit before going on. “I realize that you will have to play the part just like you did last night, but no swallowing and you use a condom and whoever is with you uses a condom. Period. No rubber no rub. Period. You don’t sub to anyone. You can bottom, but if you do a leather absolutely no subbing. You’re mine and I’m yours we are equal there is not sub. That minute you hook up with the demon, you know what to do, you get in trouble you know how to contact me and Bobby. We’re going to get an apartment in the same building as you preferably next door to you. We’ll work out the logistics later. Right now are you cool with the ground rules?” Dean asked.

 

“Dean I’m going to play safe if I play at all, and before we play again bareback I will be tested completely. No possibility of transmission, got me?” 

 

“Good, that’s what I was hoping to hear.” Dean said with a smile. Then to Bobby, “We’re going to get rowdy.” Dean said with a grin. 

 

Bobby shook his head, “You all get rowdy, I’m going to bed.”

 

“So are we.” Dean shot

Bobby shot him a glare back, “to sleep.”

 

Dean looked all innocence, “We’ll sleep eventually.” With that Bobby was gone. Dean and Sam stripped down to skin and were laying side by side in the bed just hugging and kissing for the moment. Dean trace Sam’s jaw line down to his shoulder blade. 

 

“You know I’m going to be worried about you?” Dean mentioned.

 

Sam nodded and smiled warmly, “I’d be surprised if you weren’t and I love it that you are, but I promise to be careful. If anything out of the ordinary happens you’ll be the first to know.”

 

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Dean voiced his opinion stoically. “We know the kind of life that prowls these bars, you’re a young tool and you will be hit on by anything with a swinging dick.” 

 

Sam gave a warm kiss which grew even warmer as Sam traced the rise and fall of the muscles on Dean’s chest. “You know I love it when you worry about me. “ Then on a slightly more serious note, “I worry about me too. Okay I’m going to add one to the ground rules, no fucking. I don’t want anyone in me but you.” 

 

Dean let himself be pulled onto Dean’s chest where he lick and nibbled his way around Sam’s ears and neck, letting his tongue trace the inner line of Sam’s ear making him groan with pleasure. He could feel Sam’s erection pressing against his stomach and he loved that feeling as he slowly worked his way down Sam’s chest and stomach, finally settling on teasing his navel for a bit which caused Sam to buck with laughter as the sensation was sexy but it tickled mightily as well. Dean reached up and wrapped his hand around Sam’s tool and squeezed deliciously causing Sam to again groan with pleasure. He looked down at Dean as he worked over his body. And in that husky sex thick voice Sam begged.

 

“Fuck me Dean, fuck me like you did on our first night together. Me it a memorable one please.” Dean looked at his brother and proceeded to go down on him making him writhe, then just as he felt Sam get close he backed off and sat up between Sam’s legs, he proceeded to pull Sam’s legs up over his shoulders, he used spit to slick down his dick and then some more to slick up Sam’s tight pucker. 

 

Then he started to finger fuck him with just one, we felt Sam loosening a bit and added a second finger. He worked with that one until it was loosened a bit more addition additional spit to lubricate his passage that much better. Dean positioned himself and lined up his dick then slowly entered Sam, Sam hissed a little as the fresh exploration and then settled into the feeling that was filling him up. Dean started to rub Sam’s balls and play with his dick why he fucked his brother both gently and with quick fast strokes.

 

He kept up this pace for about 10 minutes by this time Sam was begging him to plow into his ass. Dean kept up the slow, fast rhythm and then suddenly broke into a spanking, fast pace which caused Sam to rise upwards a bit and call Dean’s name as he was soundly being fucked. Dean bent down to meet Sam and they kissed violently with great passion, Dean proceeded to grab onto Sam’s meat and jack him furiously. He tugged and worked on Sam until he felt the spasming of his anal muscles telling him that Sam’s orgasm was starting, he kissed Sam again feeling Sam yell into his mouth as they kissed. 

 

Sam came in volume flooding over Dean’s hand to his stomach, Dean grinned as he pulled his hand that was covered in Sam’s spunk up and greedily licked it off just inches from Sam’s face. He kept up the hard rhythm on Sam, Sam now having the aftereffects of a hard orgasm. He was in a word ultra-sensitive meaning that the rhythm that Dean was enjoying was having a pain, pleasure effect on Sam. 

 

“God Dean give me a minute, that’s too hard.”

 

“No you little man-cunt, you said you wanted it like the first time, you got baby brother, just like the first time.” Dean grinned evilly as he plowed into Sam until finally he yelled out Sam’s name as he burst into an orgasm which thrummed in Sam’s ass.

 

Dean was long in exploding, long in actually coming and laughing uproariously as he continued to fuck Sam letting Sam’s ass milk every drop of come from his prick. He finally pulled out, licked down the spent come on Sam stomach causing him to writhe in laughter, Dean even gave his dwindling cock a delicious long kiss. Finally he curled up next to Sam and held onto him tightly.


	5. Chapter 5

“You know I don’t want to do this?” Dean said finally.

 

“I know babe, I’m not too cracked up about it myself, but unless you can think of a better solution this is the only thing for it I’m afraid.” Sam said reluctantly.

 

Dean said nothing more about it that evening, he just was content snuggling up to his lover and brother and loving him as much as he was capable of handling. 

 

The next day Bobby met them out in front of the hotel, he was packed and ready, and joked a little with Dean about the racket coming from their room earlier in the evening, his joking fell flat as Dean just looked at Bobby.

 

Finally Bobby looked around and spotting an IHop across the way insisted they go there for breakfast. Once in he told the hostess, “Booth please, in a good private area.” He pressed a $10 bill into her hand. She set them up away from the usual crowd and they were soon served. Bobby leaned over talking in a whisper. 

 

“We’re going about this sideways, you realize that?”

 

Dean looked at his friend tiredly, “We’ve beat this plan to death what’s wrong now?”

 

Bobby didn’t rise to the baiting. “What’s wrong is that this demon will know you probably.” He directed that at Sam. “She’ll be waiting to attack one of the famous Winchesters, you’re talking about going in there like you’re someone else, that’s fucked boy.”

 

Sam took on a look of interest, “So I got in as myself, totally represent myself and not shy away from what I am?”

 

“Exactly,” Bobby said shaking his head in wonder, “We going with a plan in place but we go in as ourselves.”

 

“So we basically were over thinking the plumbing with our planning.” Dean said feeling like a dumbass.

 

“Yup, and when you over think the plumbing the easier it is to stop up the drain.” Bobby admonished. 

 

Satisfied now and Dean feeling more secure about the whole situation he looked at Bobby, “So what do we do about finding this demon oh great sage.” 

 

“Smartass, what we do is what we planned, Sam goes in by himself, she’ll be more apt to strike at just one of you, then we take her. The thing is we’re going to have to be sure that this is the demon and not some poor girl, just out hooking.”

 

They agreed and after a now leisurely breakfast they started to get on the road again, in the parking lot however Dean cornered Sam, “When we get into San Francisco the first thing we do is look up two rentals side by side in the district that was pinpointed, we will each take one of the bars for each night and go trolling for demons.”

 

Sam nodded more relieved now with the change of plans and the new outlook, simple as it was. They went ahead and got on the road and were soon entering California, by late that evening they arrived in San Francisco, they then took one of the first exits booked in at a Days Inn and got settled for the first part of their plan. Bobby went to the hotel lobby and bought a local newspaper, and then came back to Sam and Dean’s room, “Okay kiddies here’s what we got.” He pulled out the classified section with “FURNISHED APARTMENTS” and they started going through the lot, they found six likely possibilities and marked them in the newspaper. 

 

They dined late then turned in for the night, no play just sleep. The next morning they were awakened early by Bobby’s insistence pounding on their door. 

 

“What!?” Dean said irritably as he opened the door and let him in. 

 

“Let’s grab breakfast and start looking at these places.” Bobby said.

 

“Man I’ve haven’t even had a chance to grab a shower.” Sam griped.

 

“Good the last thing you want is to go into some of these places smelling good. We’re going to be looking as some 2nd and 3rd rate apartments so we don’t have a choice we gotta go in looking rough.” Bobby said looking around.

 

Bobby grabbed up his bag from the floor and started for the lobby. Dean shut the door and went over to give Sam a good morning kiss. “God just when I got used to showering every day and actually smelling clean, now we gotta grunge it.”

 

“That’s just to get the apartment. We can shower once we’re in.” Sam advised. They met Bobby in the lobby, went to the car and loaded up then went to a diner for breakfast. 

 

They took the first renter on the list and called them up.

 

“Yeah” Came the greeting.

 

“Looking to rent a couple of apartments, what’cha got?”

 

“What you need two apartments for?” The voice asked

.

Dean gave back the surly attitude, “Cause it’s me and my brother, and I don’t wanna bring home a date and have to play nice.”

 

“Ok, I got one open right now, another in a week.”

 

Dean hung up the phone. 

 

This went on for four of the six numbers until they were met with a semi-civilized voice. “Empire Rentals, Debbie speaking.”

 

“Debbie hi, I’m Sam Winchester, my brother and I were looking at renting an apartment each, do you some something available?”

 

“Are you looking for an area in particular?” She asked pleasantly.

 

Sam told her the district. The beam in her voice practically came through the line. “Oh you are lucky, I’ve got two apartments located on Mariposa St. They are over a clothing store, if you don’t mind that.”

 

“Not a problem.” Sam said, “When can we look at them?”

 

“Got an hour to kill this morning?” She said friendly enough.

 

“Sure.” 

 

“Good, you come over to my office and we’ll go take a look at these. Oh one thing they are side by side, is that a problem?” She asked.

 

Sam paused a moment and then, “So long as I don’t hear him snoring through the wall, not a problem.” 

 

He said with a laugh in his voice. She returned the laugh.

After a few more pleasantries they hung up and were on their way to her office. Once there they were greeted by a woman who more than looked like she could take care of herself and had the friendly phone voice.

 

“Come on it’s just down the block we can walk if you don’t mind it.” She offered. They agreed and walked down 17th turned the corner on Mariposa and came to a storefront with the legend of “MacLaren’s Fine Clothing for Misters and Misses” in the window. She unlocked a street level door and led them up a flight of stairs to a hallway with six apartments branching off, she went to the third door and unlocked it opening it up. It was a nice 1 bedroom unit, no bugs, no peeling wallpaper, a refreshingly clean place. After looking it over she took them in the fourth door and opened to a similar apartment.

 

She looked at them and smiled, “This one is a two bedroom unit. It goes for $950 a month, the other one is $800.”

 

“Is there a lease?” Dean asked.

 

“6 months.” She replied.

 

“Can we fill the paperwork out today?” Sam asked looking around.

 

“Sure. Come on.” She said smiling broadly now. Back at the office the rental agreements were filled in and taken care of, they put down the deposit and first and last month’s rent and got possession of the keys. “Hope you don’t mind me asking, but you look like nice folk, what you doing renting a place down here?” 

 

Sam smiled, “I’m an author, I’m writing a book about the waterfront and the downtown sector. I need to experience it to write it.”

 

“You’ll experience it all right. Well our places are well kept as you seen, no loud parties, play nice and get treated nice, play rough and you go back to the street okay?”

 

“Gotcha.” Dean agreed.

 

Outside they got into the impala and after negotiating the road a bit were parking in a lot across from the store in an area marked, “TENANTS.”

 

They grabbed out their duffel bags and went up to their new apartments. Once they deposited the duffels they met in Sam’s apartment. 

 

Sam was sitting on the sofa and looking around. “Well it’s nicer than some of the dumps dad used to rent.”

 

Dean nodded, “Hell yeah, at least we won’t have to watch rats scurry across the kitchen floor.”

 

Sam looked at Bobby and Dean, “Y’all ready to do this?”

 

Bobby looked out the window for a moment then back at them, “I gotta admit this whole idea is fucked, what if we’re dealing with multiples here?”

 

“Well, there’ll be multiple exorcisms.” Dean said matter- of-factly.

 

“Ha ha laughing boy, you’re just full of kicks and giggles.” Bobby looked at Dean sourly as he spoke.

 

“Let’s just get this done and get out of here okay?” Sam said miserably.

 

Dean looked at his brother curiously. “What’s the matter bro?”

 

“Just got a bad feeling about this case. That’s all.” Sam said turning away momentarily.

 

Dean started to walk over but Bobby stopped him, “Sam, listen up, you’ve stood up to worse and come out on the winning end, you will this, just quit bellyaching and get to work.” 

 

And work they did for a solid week they worked the bars with no nibbles at all, though all three rounded up some fine blow jobs during the week and Dean got the offer of sex which he politely turned down. Bobby even got an offer by a bear to hit third base that night in his basement. He stuttered his way through that one then walked. It was on their 8th night into the job that Dean got a nibble he was walking home from “Tangles” and was run up behind by a young lady, she grabbed his arm and shaking described a man following her, asked if she could walk along with Dean for a while. 

 

“Look lady, I don’t mind you going my way but what makes you think I’m any safer than your tail?” Dean asked.

 

She looked at him her eyes wide, “I saw you at Tangles, I was there with my girlfriend, but we had a fight and well she took off and left me, we live about 4 blocks up Mariposa, but this dude I saw was scary, when I saw you in Tangles, you just looked safe.”

 

“Come on.” Dean said smiling slightly. They walked on until Dean got to his apartment, “I live in here, if you want however, I’ll be glad to walk you home.” Now the girl broke out in a spate of tears and Dean dropped his guard a moment. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I’m so confused, I’m afraid to go home and I’m afraid he’s still back there.”

 

Dean laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Look how about if you come on up, you can call from my apartment and then I walk you home, or we figure out something else. Look at like this you’ll be in a queer’s apartment, what harm can come other than I might ask you to teach me some make up tricks.”

 

She laughed now and smiled at him, “You’re way to butch too be a makeup boy.” He walked up and opened the door and welcomed her in. “My uncle shares the place with me but he’s out at “Uptown” and he’s always late coming back from there.”

 

“Oh he likes rough play!” She said with a grin. Dean nodded and offered her his cell phone as she took it under his breath he said “Chisto.” The ‘girl’ blanched and flinched then looked at Dean with venom in her gaze. 

 

“Oh I know who you are Dean Winchester, all the cadre were sent your image along with your brother’s. Where is he by the way? No matter I’ll be done before you can call him up.” She sidled up to him and looked up at him seductively. She laid her hands on his chest and started to kiss him, Dean flung some holy water on her and turned quickly pulling the curtains down from the window. The venetian blinds had a devil trap in lipstick on the slats. She spun and headed for the door running into another sigil which bound her. She screamed in outrage then turned her venom of Dean throwing him into a wall, she then pounced on him and started to drain him when the door burst open suddenly and closed as quickly as Sam and Bobby entered the room, Bobby readied with the holy water, Sam just extended his hand, Dean on the other hand looked 10 years older already. Sam concentrated and she retched and flexed then spun falling on the floor gasping as the demon came flooding out of her mouth and out on the floor the black smoke sparked as the demon was destroyed. Then the girl lay limp for a moment and then gasped, she looked around and fled the apartment. They spent the rest of the night cleaning up the blinds and the door of the sigils and settled in to wait another week. 

 

After that second week was up they were satisfied that they’d hammered the demon so they made ready to leave, breaking the lease was a bitch but they managed by letting her keep the last months rental payment. They were soon on the road again and leaving the fascinating city of San Francisco, the first night out they met in Bobby’s room and shivered slightly remembering the event. 

 

“Well I’m glad that’s over.” Bobby said flexing his back. “Damn leather bars are tacky as hell.” 

 

“You must’ve got cruised like crazy.” Dean joked with him.

Bobby preened a bit, “I got my share of notices.”

 

Sam stepped up then, “So you want to go out bar hopping with me, Dean and Theo next week?”

 

Bobby gave him a sour look. “You go hop all the bars you want, after this week staying home is looking real good for a while. What can I say I got used to the quiet.” They thought over their ordeal in California and decided that two weeks work to take out one demon might seem a bit obsessive, and then at the same time they still wondered if they were dealing with a single or multiples.

 

Coming back through Colorado they stopped again in Denver and went to a familiar book store in the downtown district. On entering another young clerk was behind the counter.

 

Sam walked up smiling and asked, “When does Scotty work again?”

 

The clerk looked shocked for a moment and then leaned over the counter in hushed tones. “You mean you haven’t heard?” 

 

“Heard what?” Sam asked his stomach twisting suddenly.

 

“Jimmy Thorn killed him last week.”

 

Sam reacted now like he’d been stomach punched. “Oh God no! “

 

“Yeah it was all over the news, Jimmy went over to his place and stalked him until he finally caught him coming in, and the cops found him the next morning beat to shit. Jimmy’s prints were all over the place but the most damning part.” The clerk gasped and paled. “There were prints on Scotty’s neck in blood. They were Jimmy’s.”

 

“Please tell me Jimmy’s been arrested.” Sam said his mind trying to catch up.

 

“Never got that far, they went to arrest him and found him hanging in his apartment. Suicide.”

 

“I TOLD SCOTTY TO TAKE A RESTRAINING ORDER OUT ON THAT SON OF A BITCH.” Sam said through hot tears that he didn’t know at the time were coming.

 

“YOU were the one! The bouncer at Cowarts told me of someone who defended Scotty a couple of weeks back. Oh my god, I am so sorry!” 

 

Sam couldn’t say anything else, he just rushed from the shop into the parking lot closely followed by Dean and Bobby, finally they reached the Impala and Sam came down with both fists on the trunk lid in frustration and anger and then bucked twice and spewed what little he had in his stomach at his feet. He stood like that for some short amount of time until Bobby and Dean managed to get him into the car.

 

“Come on baby brother. Let’s get back to the motel.” Dean said miserably.

 

Sam was sobbing uncontrollably in the back seat, “I couldn’t save us from Dad and couldn’t save this one stranger from that sorry prick of a boyfriend.” 

 

The anger, frustration, and malice that he’d been feeling for years breaking free now, he thought he’d got it all out earlier, he’d just scratched the surface, Sam knew one thing for certain. One very painful and to him shameful thought. He was going to be seeking some professional help when he got home to deal with this. He was not going to let this poison continue to brew and stew then explode like this.

 

It was that night in a motel outside of Denver that Theo appeared in their motel room along with Castiel. “We tracked you by Bobby this time.” Castiel explained.

 

There was handshaking and hugs exchanged, Castiel took Sam aside, “I understand your frustration and can help there is only one thing, the kind of help I can give will remove most of your childhood memories.”

 

Sam shook his head in negation, “No Cas, I’ve got to learn to deal with this on my own. I appreciate the offer, but this is a human failing and I gotta address it with human medicine and practice.”

 

Dean, Bobby and Theo were deep in conversation on the other side of the room. They looked up as one at Sam and then resumed their conversation. 

 

“Sam I’ve got to tell you that that road is very rocky but you can manage, Theo and I will do what we can to help make the trip easier. I’m just curious why you are plagued with these feelings and Dean seems to be immune?” 

 

Sam looked at his brother for a moment they caught each other’s eye and he winked and grinned at him, “Dean handles stress on a whole different level from me. I internalize my stress, Dean externalizes and basically shunts off anything negative that doesn’t fit into his world view.” Sam said look back at Castiel. 

 

That night Bobby and Castiel shared one room while Dean, Sam and Theo had a long celebratory shower together before even considering play time. Theo was their focus tonight and they showered him with attention like never before. Sam especially loved on him, kissing him in places where he never thought of being a kissing point but was surprised at how incredible sexy a tongue in a clean armpit feels. 

 

Sam nibbled normal, abnormal and wow places on Theo as Dean focused on kissing him thoroughly among other areas of interest including starting up what Theo considered some phenomenal oral sex. Sam continued along until he go to Theo’s pucker and he tongue-teased hi m for as long as he could stand it and then some. He was completely pliable by the time they had reached a point of entry; this time however, Dean had honours while Theo and Sam 69ed and did so with great lust. 

 

Theo was sucking and nibbling on Sam’s foreskin, his dick and his balls, sucking on each of them before opening his mouth wide to take both at the same time. Sam held onto his orgasm process by strength of will and the will had to be strong with that one. He gave as good as he got however, and added a couple of fingers to the plunging ravaging that Dean was giving his ass. The extra digits only heightened the sensitivity for Dean and the playability for Theo, Sam was sucking long on the 9 inches of delicious velvet that comprised Theo’s dick, there was something tremendously sexy in his position at the moment and Sam was going to take every opportunity to enjoy it while he could. He was enjoying the taste of Theo’s pre-come when suddenly Theo in a fit of ecstasy grabbed Sam’s head and held him in place face fucking him while Dean was languidly and dangerously close to shooting his wad. 

 

Dean and Theo both were too far gone in their sexual energies to notice that Sam suddenly had a panicked look on his face, Theo gasped not realizing anything as he felt teeth graze his cock head and that sent him over the edge blasting shot after shot down Sam’s throat, as he was coming down from his high he noticed that Sam had quickly pulled off when released and shuttering jumped off the bed and ran out of the room right as Dean exploded in an orgasm. Theo was kind enough to let him finish quickly enough then they both went to the bathroom to find Sam huddled in the bathtub, his eyes wide and wild, hunched down in the tub a naked shivering creature. 

 

Dean and Theo soothed him and loved on him trying to bring him down all that they heard was this almost whispered, “I’ll be good daddy, I’ll swallow.” 

 

Theo drew back as he he’d received an electric shock and then remembered what he was doing to Sam and immediately hugged him close. Finally Dean and Theo managed to get Sam back to the bedroom and calmed down when he finally took a deep shuddering breath and looked around. He shook his head violently and grasped the sides of his head in a silent shriek. 

 

Sam sat there on the bed in that position for what seemed like a forever moment until at last Theo and Dean were able to get him to stretch out with them and lay down. The locks on their door suddenly flew asked as Castiel forced his way into the room. He ran over to the bed followed closely by Bobby who shut the door. 

 

“What happened?” Castiel demanded.

 

So Theo launched into a fairly sterile recitation of what they’d been doing and what had led up to Sam’s attack, Castiel took Sam’s hands and gazed in his eyes for a moment. 

 

“He’s not slipping from us, but these old memories that are haunting him are useless baggage and need to be got rid of, but he won’t permit me to help.”Castiel said frustrated.

 

“What would be the result?” Dean asked.

 

Castiel looked at Dean and shook his head, “He’d probably lose memories of his childhood associated with that period.” Dean thought back to the times when he comforted his brother and how close they’d always been as kids and shook his head. 

 

“There’s gotta be another way.” Dean insisted.

 

“What he needs is his Zanax.” Bobby said looking at both of them. “But it’s in the medicine cabinet back home.”

 

In that instant Castiel vanished was gone for a few seconds then returned with a pill bottle in hand. “Is this what you’re talking about?”

 

Bobby looked at the label and nodded his head, “Dean get me a glass of water.” He tipped two of the tablets out in his hand and looked at Sam. “Sam!” He barked getting a reaction, “Take your pill.” He said popping the tablets into his slack mouth and feeding him some of the water which he drank readily enough.

 

Then he lay back against the pillow shivering. He looked around the room for a moment then fought to keep his emotions under control though his eyes filled with unshed tears. 

 

“Cas I don’t know how long I can keep this up, I don’t want to go back into the hospital, but I’m afraid.”

 

“It’s your childhood that’s messing with your adult memories, I can winnow your brain but it’s a long and arduous process and it will take care of most of the bad memories but not everything.”

 

“Why didn’t you mention this before?” Dean accused.

 

Castiel shot him a glare. “Because it is a long process, you might have to be prepared to stay here another day.” 

 

Dean insisted, “Then we stay here another day or two or how many it takes to at least clear some of this out of the way.”

 

“I can get try to get some of the emotional trauma out but if I’m balked there is nothing I can do, it will take someone stronger than me to wrest the memory and it might do damage to him.” Castiel sighed deeply, “Let me give an exploratory push and see what I can wrest out. You all will have to keep silent, do not disturb him at all. Theo move.” Castiel ordered shortly. Castiel sat down where Theo had been placing his fingers lightly on Sam’s scalp, he closed his eyes and concentrated, they expected Sam to give the outburst but it was Castiel who started the sound. Theo caught him just in time and shoved his hand over his mouth as Castiel burst out in a shout of angst. The angel’s eyes flew wide and he pulled away from Sam with distaste. 

 

“Are you all right?” Dean asked as Castiel moved Theo’s hand and nodded at the angel.


	6. Chapter 6

  
Author's notes: I'm gonna enter a personal plea for the next few chapters and that is for you, gentle-reader, to review my work. Leaving a review, I'm not looking for overwhelming praise but an honest opinion of how the story is shaping, is the grammar okay, basically stuff about what you think of the story. I'm not looking for the number of reviews to bolster some ego trip I might fly away on, but rather to have an idea of how these stories are going so I know what to go in and edit and hopefully make better. Thanks for taking this moment with me as I bare my soul.  
Hugs, Daibhi  
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* * *

Castiel looked at Sam for a moment then looked at Dean and shook his head. “If your father is responsible for this then it is no wonder that he ended up in hell, I would be surprised if he had not ended up there sooner.”

 

Dean ignored the jibe about their father and turned his attention on Sam who was settling a bit, the Zanax starting to take control. “What about Sam?”

 

“Michael!” Castiel called and there was a brief clap of light and the Arch-Angel Michael appeared in the room he looked around at the three naked men and the two clothed and smiled slightly. 

 

“I didn’t realize I was coming to a party or I would have dressed appropriately.” 

 

Castiel looked at him evenly, “You can do that next time for now, could you take a delving into Sam’s memories and see what you turn up?”

 

Michael looked at Castiel, “Didn’t you?”

“I did and it’s beyond my capacity to extract without causing damage.” Castiel admitted.

 

Michael sat down on the bed and rested his hand similarly on Sam’s head. After a moment he grimaced with distaste. “You father, Adam’s father was responsible for that?”

 

“Yes.” Castiel answered shortly.

 

Michael then sat back and placed his hands again on Sam’s head and after several minutes he looked at Castiel. “Removing these trace memories will affect his overall thought process, it will effect who he is now. Do we really want to do this?”

 

“No we don’t.” Sam said from his position on the bed. “What we want is to be left alone, we will see a doctor and have the emotional problems treated in a human fashion.” 

 

“If that is your choice.” Michael said concerned, “But you are going to continue to have episodes.”

 

Sam looked at him, “Then I’ll be human, you and I both know I’m not angel material for all the angelic power I have gained and for which I’m grateful. But I’ll never be a true angel.” 

 

Michael smiled at him, “No the father created you as a human, when you die your soul will join his glory, but for now you are human. This much I can give to you however.” He lightly brushed Sam’s forehead and Sam closed his eyes and fell asleep. “He will sleep through the night and into tomorrow peacefully. But as soon as you can you need to get him seen by a physician. His healing is not beyond me but the effects as they will play out would affect his life right now as you know it.”

 

“Thanks anyway Michael.” Dean said gratefully. “At least we know where we stand.”

 

Michael smiled and disappeared. Castiel settled back for a moment collecting himself, then he stood and nodded to Bobby, “I’ll see you eventually.” And he was gone. 

 

Bobby stood and looked around, “Well not that the excitement is over I’m going back to bed.” And with that Bobby left the room. Theo returned to his place next to Sam and together Dean and Theo rolled Sam onto his side and gratefully sighed when he didn’t wake.

 

Dean nodded and looked at his sleeping brother, “We’re going to have to put some miles behind us tomorrow.”

 

Theo nodded and then lay down in bed, Dean lay down as well, both knowing they were too wound up to sleep but realizing that they would be no good just sitting there awake. So Theo cut the bedside lamp and plunged the room into darkness and they gradually drifted into a semi-sleeping state.

 

The next morning saw a man with bags under his eyes and an angel who was not much better sitting by as Sam woke slowly from his sleep. He looked around the room and stretched, then a memory of the previous night came back to haunt him and he looked with concern at his two partners. He saw their condition and was immediately contrite. 

 

“I am so very sorry, is there anything I can do to help you two?” He asked.

 

“Yeah you drive today.” Dean said yawning now. Theo just looked at Sam with concern rife in his eyes. He walked from his chair over to the bedside and bent down kissing Sam.

 

“How do you feel?” Theo asked.

 

Dean and Theo focused on him for a moment, “I feel guiltily better.”

 

Theo smiled then, “No need to feel guilty, it’s a good thing that you’re feeling better. Come on let’s get dressed and go get breakfast.”

 

Over breakfast they discussed the day’s plan’s which predominantly included getting them home and Theo trying to figure out a way to undo the damage the succubus did to Dean. 

 

There wasn’t much conversation over breakfast that started when they got loaded up and ready to go.

 

“Was it that bad last night?” Sam asked.

 

Dean looked at him slightly pop-eyed, “You’re telling me you don’t remember?”

 

Sam was totally perplexed, “No Dean, I’m serious, I don’t remember jack. What happened?”

 

“You freaked,” Theo said yawning. “You were going down on me, and quite well I might add, and I made the mistake of holding your head in place because you were hitting on a wonderful spot, and you freaked pure and simple. You lasted until I came then you bolted into the bathroom where it took both me and Dean to get you out. Bobby and Castiel came into the room to try to help but you were pretty well gone, Michael even was called in but the consensus was that if they did do anything to remove the memories of your dad’s abusing you, it would remove other memories as well and affect your time stream which would in turn alter events slightly.” Theo took a breath and looked at Sam. Then Theo looked at Dean, “Man you look like hammered shit.”

 

“Thanks for the compliment.” Dean said tiredly. “I feel like hammered shit.”

 

Theo reached forward and caressed Dean’s face and the bags disappeared as well as the bloodshot eyes. He gasped and straightened up and looked at Theo perplexed.

“Can you do that to yourself?” 

 

“Nope I’m stuck.” Theo said smiling. “It’s okay though, if you don’t mind I’m going to stretch out here in the back and take a nap.

 

“Go ahead.” Dean agreed as did Sam.

 

They drove on in silence for several miles then heard Theo’s soft snores coming from the back and Sam grinning looked at Dean who wasn’t smiling but looking fixedly ahead. Sam rested a hand on Dean’s thigh. “I’m sorry I freaked last night.”

 

“Dude we gotta get you looked at over this.”

 

Sam tilted his head slightly. “I know, but what I can’t figure out is why you aren’t having something similar? After all dad was an equal opportunity bastard at times.”

 

Dean nodded, “Yeah he was, but I burn my stress out fighting, and working on cars and shit. You, well you keep it inside and let it grow. You have no outlet I guess would be the educated answer.” Dean looked at Sam with deep concern.

 

“I promise as soon as we get home I’ll look up a shrink and we’ll get to the bottom of this.”

 

“Yeah we will,” Dean agreed, “Because if you freak like that over some shit out on the line, it could be serious bad.”

 

“I know Dean.” Sam said tiredly.

 

“Good thing you do.” Dean returned.

 

Sam began to feel more than a little steamed under the collar. “You make it sound as if I wanted this to happen.” 

 

Dean shook his head, “No, nobody would want this to happen but you gotta admit, you do guilt real good. Too good in fact.” 

 

They drove on in silence for several miles with Dean in deep thought. He finally looked at Sam, “Sammy, there was a lot of times I was on solo’s and couldn’t be around the house, what was dad like then?” 

 

“He’d drink, get drunk, usually end up fucking the hell out of me. I’d call it rape because there is no way I can equate it to sex.” Sam shrugged uncomfortably. “I mean it wasn’t cheery joy while you were gone, he figured that by doing the most distasteful thing to me like that it would make me tougher. With you all he had to do was snap his military fingers and you would snap to, me I was the ornery one in the family.”

 

“I’m sorry bro.” Dean said looking ahead of them for a long moment. “I should’ve known. I just never put two and two together.”

 

Sam shook his head, “It’s not like I wanted you to find out, after all, I figured that if you suspected what was going on while you were gone you’d take it out of dad’s hide or worse. I didn’t want to be responsible for breaking up the family.”

 

Silence descended on the car once again and Sam drove stoically trying to force thoughts of childhood away, but unfortunately Dean had resurrected some old ghosts, well he had to be fair, he did a good job of pulling a few of them out of the closet as well. 

 

The balance of the trip passed pretty quickly. After about three hours Theo woke up and stretching looked up to the front seat. “You having a fight up there?” He asked.

 

Sam looked up surprised into the rearview mirror, “Hey it’s awake!” 

 

“And feeling much better thank you.” Theo said “No it was so quiet in the car I was beginning to wonder.” 

 

Dean smiled and looked back, “No problems just a lot of thinking, that’s all.” 

 

Theo grinned, “You do deep thought well. Still trying to figure out what to do about the boogeyman in your closet mama bear?”

 

Sam grinning at the use of the nickname shook his head. “No, not really, I mean, I could hammer this thing to death and get myself all worked up all over again, but I’m going to try to let it go until we get home and I can see a doc about it.”

 

“Good, that’s useful thinking.” Theo said patting his shoulder. “Hey signal Bobby to pull over and I’ll go up and take over for him, after all we been on the road for a while.” 

 

Dean looked back, “You sure you wanna try to take the wheel from Bobby, after the way he went bar hopping he might be in the mood to teach you a few tricks.”

 

“Bobby, nah!” Theo said with a grin. But they pulled over anyway, Bobby pulling in behind them Theo jumped out of the Impala and ran back to the driver’s side of the Shelby, where Dean and Sam were surprised when Bobby did change out with Theo.

 

“Oh he must be whacked.” Sam said looking into the mirror.

 

“You think?” Dean said, “Speaking of which how are you doing, you want me to take over?” 

 

Sam looked at Dean. “Do you mind?”

 

“Nah, I figured that you were probably getting a bit shot out too, 5 hours behind the wheel is enough to whack anyone.”

 

Sam looked at his brother with a quirked eyebrow. “What are you talking about Mr. I’ll-drive-straight-through-and-not-take-a-nap-Winchester?”

 

“Okay so I’ve been known to stretch my time behind the wheel.” They went ahead and switched out and then started back up again. After about another hour of driving Dean looked a moment at Sam.

 

“You’re awfully quiet, beating yourself up some more over not saying anything about dad?”

 

Sam shook his head, “No, not that, that’s basically unproductive, though I do unproductive real well. I was just thinking, I’m gonna have to be real careful about what I tell a psych, after all there some shit we’ve done and been on that just talking about it would get me locked away with a straight jacket and a regular hit of Thorazine.”

 

“Good point.” Dean agreed. “So just how are you going to address those issues?”

 

“I’ll tell the shrink that dad was a hunter, he would go out on trips and take us with him, or he’d let you go out alone. But I won’t tell him or her what we were hunting. I can let him or her know about dad’s drunken revelry’s and bouts and how it affected us. There’s some stuff that just can’t be talked about unless we get a psych that understands the life of a hunter. And it’s going to be hell finding one of those.” 

 

Finally Dean pulled out a cassette and popped it into the player, as metal music blared out of the speakers he looked at Sam and nodded, “It has been way too serious in this car for most of this road trip.” Sam laughed as they sped on down the highway listening to the tape deck and getting lost in their own thoughts. 

 

After making a couple of gas stops they were soon back in South Dakota and well on their way towards home, it was into an early evening when they did pull into the long driveway heading towards the house, They got out of the cars once parked and stretched mightily, Sam and Dean hauling out their respective duffel bags, Theo getting his, and Bobby getting out his haversack. Dean looked around and grinned, “Good to be back home.”

 

“Hell man, there was a time when that Impala was home.” Sam remarked.

 

Dean nodded, then tossed his bag into the kitchen as they entered. They looked around a bit and then nodded.

 

“Ok we’re home, it’s late, and nobody wants to cook so we go out for supper, I vote Mexican.” Dean said.

 

The rest agreed that would work and soon were sitting in Garcia’s Cantina having a rousing supper with plenty of Tecate and salsa and all the other things that go into making a meal worthwhile. Bobby finally settled back satisfied. “Well, I don’t know about the rest of you but when we get in I’m going to head up to bed. It’s been a helluva day.” 

 

“We’ll probably be headed the same direction.” Sam said looking around at Dean and Theo who were grinning.

 

“Oh god, I had to open my mouth.” Bobby said. They finished and were soon back at home and in their respective parts of the house. In Dean, Sam, and Theo’s bedroom everyone was concerned with stripping down for a shower and then bed. Something about a grunge factor just did not endear itself to going to get dirty. 

 

Once clean however and in bed Theo looked at Sam, “I promise not to hold you down this time.” 

Sam kissed him and smiled. “Thanks for the thought.” 

 

They were soon all locked up in hugs and kisses, just working out some of the day’s boredom without rushing into blowjobs, rim jobs and the rest. This time it was Dean’s turn in the middle and they proceeded to treat him to a feast of kissing, nibbling, and sucking until he was tossing in the bed from being tickled to writhing with desire. 

 

Finally Theo hit the root of the problem and started sucking and licking on Dean’s dick. He bobbed up and down taking the full length at a go and enjoying every minute of it. Sam was busy enjoying licking and sucking on his nipples and giving them a good go then he flipped around and started licking and sucking on Dean’s balls while Dean started to go down on Sam. He pushed the foreskin back exposing the sensitive glistening head and took a mouthful, loving and lusting on every inch of Sam that he could swallow. 

 

Then Theo started using spit for lube and gradually inserted his middle finger deep into Dean and stroked his prostate which sent Dean into a wriggling writhing fit of ecstasy. It wasn’t long before Theo could add an extra finger to the exploration and had him stretched out quite well he thought. After about 5 minutes of this lovely activity Theo came up off of Dean’s dick giving Sam full access and then he positioned his dick at Dean’s anal ring and pushed gently. Not wanting this to be a rough housing fuck but rather a gentle, loving experience. After sinking deep into Dean, who was gasping in pleasure even as he worked on Sam who was in his own seventh heaven at the moment, Theo pulled back and then rode gently back in, he proceeded at this pace not rushing things and not wanting to race to the finish line but wanting a close comfortable satisfying experience for all of them. Sam reached around while Theo was stroking into Dean and started massaging Theo’s balls which caused him to moan and make love noises. The lust that was prevalent in the bedroom was thick, the air alive with groans and moans some around dicks some out loud. Suddenly Sam feeling a twitch in Dean’s dick picked up the pace slightly, giving him the feeling of a more rambunctious ride. Sam’s own dick was being sucked deeply and faster now by Dean, soon all were speeding up their pace sensing three rather large orgasms in the making. 

 

For Dean it didn’t take long, he’d had two weeks of satisfying blowjobs by various barflies, as had Sam, but nothing could beat their mouths for a truly good suck. Sam started deeply sucking on Dean and taking him in long, fast strokes bringing him the to the edge and feeling him pulse only to slow down and start the slow stoking of the fires. Pretty soon Dean was whimpering and Sam had mercy as he started sucking in earnest, earning him a yell around his dick that was in Dean’s mouth as Dean exploded in a resounding orgasm filling Sam’s mouth and nearly gagging him with the volume. But Sam swallowed twice and then a third time and after a few more moments of Dean’s fisting and sucking on Sam was rewarded with his own choking eruption of come.

 

All this pushed Theo over the edge who felt his orgasm already building now he picked up the pace and started pounding into Dean until at last he got as deep as possible as he felt the orgasm ripping up through his balls and through his stomach and out. They all were a tangle of arms, legs, and dicks, all deliriously spent, and sheened lightly in sweat.

 

“Oh yeah that was good.” Dean said grinning.

 

“Uh huh.” Was all Sam could say. Theo just satisfied himself with licking Dean’s rib cage earning him a laugh from Dean as well as a hand forcing him away.

 

“No bad dreams that time?” Dean asked Sam.

 

“No babe, it’s cool.” Sam then propped up on one elbow looking at both of them and shook his head, “It doesn’t make sense. Why after 30 years is it coming back to hammer me now? I mean I was doing good I thought, then boom. Visitations from the dark side of dad.”

 

“It doesn’t make any sense to me either.” Dean said.

 

“Well I never knew your father so I can’t say anything.” Theo added.


	7. Chapter 7

  
Author's notes: Please review this as it gives me a direction in which to go!! Also the review needn't be written, just choose the number of stars you think it's worth. Don't worry, I got a tough shell and besides, at least this way I can get a heads up to makes changes for the better and such. Thanks, D!  
{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}  


* * *

Dean looked at him, “Most of the time he was all right, just sometimes between hunts he would get on a drinking binge and then anything could happen.”

 

Sam nodded, “Yeah between hunts that black side of dad would come out and that got scary from time to time.”

 

“Well, tomorrow we’re going shopping.” Dean said.

 

Sam looked at him questioningly. “For???” 

 

“You a shrink.” Dean said and Theo nodded.

 

“It would be for the best possible solution.”

 

They settled back then to recuperate from that rousing bout of sex and to ponder the events, when Sam was idly stroking Dean and thinking to himself. Finally Dean squirmed. “If you’re going to do something you better get on with it, otherwise I’m going to fuck you or Theo silly.”

 

Sam finally realized what he was going and soon they were at round two and making a more thorough job than round one as they added some pain to the pleasure with spanking.

 

The next morning as they sat around the breakfast table they heard a knock and Bobby came in carrying a phone book, he sauntered over and fixed himself a cup of coffee then coming over to the table he sat down with the phone.

 

“What’s up Bobby?” Sam asked.

Bobby looked up at him. “Dr. Jean Culpepper, she has a practice downtown next to Sanford in the Doctor’s Professional Court. She’s a hunter doctor. Handles a lot of the physical trauma, she can probably put us onto a good psychologist.”

 

Dean and Sam shrugged, looked at Theo who widened eyes for a moment and then Bobby was dialing. He got the desk nurse, “Yeah put me through to Dr. Culpepper's voice mail, this is Bobby Singer. Thanks.” After a short wait, “Jean, Bobby here, need some help finding a good psychologist, give me a call back 906-555-6798.”

 

They proceeded to have breakfast with Bobby taking care of another couple of cups of coffee and making another pot as well when the phone rang, Bobby answered, “Jean!”

 

“Hey Bobby what’s up, you need a shrink?”

 

“Not for me for my nephew. Can you help?”

 

“Yeah, Dr. Xavier Connor, he’s in the same building with me, he’s handled lots of hunter patients and isn’t fazed by the stories.”

 

“Great. Sounds like a winner.”

“So when are you going to drop by again?” She asked.

Bobby squirmed in his seat a little, “Didn’t know I needed to.”

 

“You don’t need a reason, but I’d appreciate a dinner invite sometime.”

“How about tonight?” Bobby said drawing wide eyed glances from all three boys.

“Sounds like a plan.” She said. “I’ll be looking for you.”

“See ya.” 

 

They hung up and Bobby looked at all three and smiled. “Don’t wait up for me tonight.”

“Bobby’s gonna get lucky.” Sam singsonged.

 

“Hope so.” He said with a grin. “Anyway there’s a Dr. Xavier Connor in the same building with her, he’s a hunter doctor and may be taking new patients.” He thumbed through the book and found his office number and dialed.

 

“Dr. Connor’s office, how may I help you?” Bobby passed the phone to Sam, “Hello?” 

 

“Sorry, Hello I’m Sam Winchester. I’d like an appointment to speak with the doctor.”

 

“Well he’s taking referrals but no new patients right now.”

 

“Dr Jean Culpepper recommended him.” 

 

“Oh, well, just a moment then.” There was the sound of a keyboard being used in the background and then she came back on the line. “How will 1:30 be?”

 

“Today?” Sam said startled.

 

The receptionist laughed, “He has a block of time set aside from special patients, shall we see you this afternoon?” She asked.

 

“Sure.” Sam said.

 

As he hung up he looked at phone for a moment and then smiled. “1:30 today.” 

 

They proceeded to busy their day with cleaning guns, washing laundry, and generally getting house chores don’t that’d gone undone for two weeks. At about 12:30 Sam looked up, “I guess I should head into town for this.”

 

“You want me there?” Dean asked.

 

“I’d like for you to come, you too Theo.”

 

“You sure about this?” Theo asked.

 

“Sure as I can be, come on.” Sam said and headed to the garage. 

 

The drive in took about 45 minutes with accounting for lunch hour traffic. They found the professional building and had to wait a few minutes for the staff to return from lunch before they could get into the office. Finally in the office Sam filled out some necessary forms and then waited at 1:30 he was called back into the office.

 

Sam stood up and nodded to Dean “Does the doc want just me or family?”

 

“Just you to start with okay?” The receptionist said motioning to the door. 

 

Sam took the steps with some trepidation. Once back in the office he found it wasn’t near as scary as he’d imagined, no fainting couch, the doctor was not some bespectacled, bearded guy with a thick German accent. Instead the office was tastefully decorated with two arm chairs and the doctor’s desk with an upholstered office chair behind. The doctor was the biggest shock, he was young, probably just a few years older than Dean, with red hair, no beard, slender with a easy smiling face.

 

“Sam, come on in, I’m Xavier Connor.”

 

“Uh hi.” Sam said feeling somewhat like a fish out of water. 

 

The doctor laughed easily. “I know I get that reaction a lot. Not quite what you expected am I?”

 

Sam shook his head truthfully, “Actually no, you are probably the last type I would have expected no offense intended.”

 

“That’s me all over,” he sat down at his desk and looked over the chart given to him by the receptionist and smiled. “So what brings you to see me?”

 

“Uh well I could start at the beginning but I guess the easiest way for me to really start it with a recent event. Some of this stuff is pretty raw and embarrassing.” Sam warned.

 

The doctor leaned back in his chair. “Sam there is nothing you say that will surprise me and well, you understand doctor-patient confidentiality so go ahead, shock me baby.”

 

Sam began by explaining the recent event with he, Dean and Theo. He described what happened when Theo pushed his head down.

 

“So you felt trapped?”

 

“Worse, I was reminded of something that happened to me as a kid, something I’d not thought about for years.”

 

“Okay we’ll get to that in just a minute. So you’re in an incestuous relationship with your brother, how’s that working out for you?”

 

“We’ve been together for over 20 years.”

 

“I guess it works.” Dr. Connor said with a laugh, “Oh continue with the memory.”

 

So Sam started to fill in the blanks, dredging up some of the past that pertained directly to the situation, and giving the doctor plenty of questions to prompt him with later. He told of John’s drunken bouts, of his parental incest with both of them, of the abuse, and the neglect. He told him of the life they led on the road, in one place for a few months then on the move again. Never in any one place for very long, definitely not long enough to form lasting friendships with anyone. The closest he came to that, he freely admitted, was the three years that he’d been at Stanford. He noticed that the doctor pushed a box of tissues in his direction and he’d not realized that through some of the recitation he’d started crying. 

 

“Well that’s embarrassing.” He said as the tears continued to flow unchecked, his breath hitching now.

 

“Sam what’s embarrassing are all the men out there who have some similar shit going on in their life but had it programmed into them that it’s wrong for men to cry. Vent please, you’ve obviously been holding onto this garbage long enough.” That was when the emotions really went haywire for Sam as he began to weep openly and pound the arms of the air in frustration over not being able to verbalize how he really felt. 

 

But Dr. Connor seemed to be able to fill in the missing gaps by saying key words and phrases during his venting that only brought more of it to the surface. When Sam realized what he was doing to the arms of the chair he became embarrassed all over again and was advised by the doctor, that that what why he’d bought overstuffed chunky chairs for the patients. Sam laughed through the tears and slowly very slowly began to get himself under a semblance of order. 

 

“Sam you’re not going to be cured in one session, know that right now, I will help you through this but you’ve got to work with me. Don’t bullshit me, don’t lie to me, tell me how you really truly feel. Don’t worry that I’m going to recommend you be institutionalized, I’m not, nothing you’ve told me so far recommends that. What you have told me is that you have some deep seated issues dealing with the memory of your father, you are pissed off at him for dying the way he did because it left these issues unresolved, and you have more issues to discuss. For right now however, I want you to, no I’m not going to give you some new age thing to do, I want you to know that I’m going to walk with you to get to the core of these feelings. And to do that we’re going to see that you are properly medicated to start with. Don’t give me the bullshit that you don’t need drugs, there are certain ones you need and I’ll explain why. First I’m going to give you Prozac to take in the morning, this will help give you a bit of a lift for the day, because as we muddle through this, depression will be something you’ll have to deal with, you’re already on Zanax, well I’m going to write you a new prescription for that, the dose will remain the same as what you’ve been taking and you take it preferably at bedtime. Also I want you on Repiradone, this will help you get the panic attacks under control. What is occurring right now is that you’ve had an opening experience in your life, you have been awakened to the fact that your childhood was not all peaches and cream, that there are some alligators in that mire and they’re snapping. Further like I said, you’re not about to get over this with one session or a dozen, there is no set limit to the sessions, we’ll try to schedule them between hunts but I can’t guarantee anything, just like you can’t guarantee when you’ll be going out on another hunt so we’ll work together on this. Next talk this out with your brother and your boyfriend, they need to know everything I know and probably more since you live with them.” The doctor smiled over steepled fingers now. “Sam I know you think this is a lot and I agree that it is, but you’ve got a lot of shit to deal with and we’ll do that, and I’ll use terms like shit and bullshit to describe these feelings because that’s what they are refuse that you need to flush away and out of your life. Do you feel comfortable talking openly around your brother and lover?”

 

“Sure.” Sam said slightly perplexed. 

 

“Good because I want them to start coming in with you, this is going to be a family affair since it occurred as a family unit. We’ve been in here for two hours, plan on one to two hour sessions, because once we start winnowing through this mire that your mind has made for you, you’re going to find that it’s going to take that long and it’ll go by in a flash. And if it takes less time, so be it. For now, get those prescriptions filled, start taking them tonight, don’t take the Prozac tonight, save that for in the morning. But follow the label directions and DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES think you can self-medicate your way out of this. You didn’t get this way over night, you’re not going to get cured overnight. The best in fact that we might be able to achieve, is a control over the issues, and for you that may be enough. We’ll see, okay?”

 

“Thanks doc.” Sam said taking a deep breath, then rising when Dr. Connor did. The doctor walked around the desk and handed a card to Sam. “Memorize this number, put it in your speed dial, paste it on the refrigerator door. If you feel the least bit of anxiety YOU CALL THAT NUMBER, it’ll ring through to my voice mail on my private line, I check that line between all my appointments and I will get back in touch with you.” Dr. Connor was also 5’2” so when he stood in front of Sam his next comment was characteristic. “God damn you are one tall bastard.” This actually brought a laugh out of Sam.

“That’s what we want to get you back too, and to do that you’re going to do a lot more of what you did here today, so wear comfortable clothing.”

 

They shook hands and parted. The waiting room had a couple of other people waiting but Sam’s eyes were for the two parked against the far wall. They jumped up when he came out, Sam went over to the receptionist’s window. She smiled at him. “We’ll bill your insurance company for you.”

 

“Thanks” Sam said and smiled then walked out of the office in the hallway his shoulders slumped and his face still smiling was exhausted. Dean and Theo threw an arm around him.


	8. Chapter 8

“Tired?” Theo asked.

 

Sam nodded, “I didn’t realize that it would be like that.” 

 

“Like what?” Dean asked curious. So once they were on the parking deck he started describing the session in every detail. 

 

“I couldn’t keep my mouth shut, it was like a fucking floodgate opened and it was fuck all that came out.” Then he looked at them, “By the way, he wants you two to come in with me on the future appointments unless otherwise notified.”

 

Dean drove them by a pharmacy where he got his prescriptions filled and then they headed back to the ranch. 

 

“On pills again.” He griped.

 

“If they help, then quit yer bitchin’.” He was told by an insistent Dean. They rode at a fairly civilized pace back to the ranch. Sam was exhausted still and couldn’t understand why, until Dean reminded him that he was in the office for over 2 hours. And much of that had been in an enraged, tearful, rant. 

 

Sam went into the house and set the bag with the pill bottles on the counter. “I want a beer.” Sam said before anything else.

 

“Can you drink on this stuff?” Dean asked.

 

“Beer’s not drinking.” He told his brother.

 

“You know what I mean.” Dean griped.

 

Sam nodded, “A beer or three is fine, straight liquor is a no-no. “ 

 

They all had a cold one and were sitting down in the living room when Bobby came in, “Well everything go okay with the shrink?” 

 

“Yeah, got me on some new meds, but hell I half expected that to start.” Sam said leaning back. 

 

“Well hopefully what he’s got you on will help.” 

 

“Help or keep me so doped up I won’t know up from down.” Sam joked.

 

Bobby grinned but shook his head, “Not the way docs work these days, oh if you’re a danger to yourself or others they’d probably dope you to the gills, but hell, according to what Jean tells me, they give you more stuff to keep you pumped up and awake than doped down.”

 

Dean looked at him and asked, “Do you feel like you made any headway today?” 

 

Sam sighed, “Dean we just uncorked the bottle today, it’s going to be a while draining the shit out.”

 

Dean nodded and sat back, “Just so long as we can get around those panic attacks I’ll be fine. You scared the shit out of me the other night!” 

 

“Well Dean, I didn’t do a whole hell of a lot of good for myself.” Sam said in return equally petulant.

 

Theo looked at them both and shook his head, “what?” Sam asked. “Well mama bear, I could feel a change when you came out of the office, you’ve still got some road blocks that there’s going to be some fun beating down, but you felt different and you were walking different. If he can bring you back to that happy, I’d do anything.”

 

“Ain’t gonna say I’ll take it one day at a time. I’m just taking it minute by minute cause what dad did to us didn’t happen one day at a time, it happened sporadic and continual for many years.” Then Sam’s eyes flew wide and his stiffened momentarily, Dean was sure he was about to seize so he readied himself, instead Sam threw himself up off the bed and ran into the hall bathroom and they all heard the sound of retching. He came out a few moments later and looked at them and ducked his head. 

“Delayed reaction.” He said.

 

Dean leaned back as did Bobby and Theo, “Long as that was all it was.” Bobby said quietly. 

Bobby then went into the kitchen and opened the over and took out two large pizza boxes, “It ain’t homemade but it’ll do, come on.” 

 

Around the table as they ate Sam looked up and burped for starters. “Sorry” He muttered, “What I really can wait is when we start going back to childhood, there’s some shit back there that you don’t know about Dean.”

 

“What you talking about?” Dean demanded.

 

Sam shook his head, “Not now, it’s not what I’d like to dredge up right now either, also it ain’t anything that’s going to make you feel any chummier about dad.”

 

“Now you really got my curiosity spiking.” Dean said. “There’s any number of things I can imagine.”

 

“Trust me Dean,” Sam started, “You can’t even imagine this shit. I can’t believe I remember it and I don’t all that clearly, just enough.”

 

They finished supper and cleared up the kitchen, they sat and talked over the last case some more, deciding where to take it to the next level the next time they ran into a succubus. Dean insisted that he was not going to be the guinea pig for the bitch to feed on. A point over which they all had a laugh over, even with the fact that Theo was able to undo what the succubus did to Dean. 

 

It was around midnight when the party broke up and everyone headed to their respective bedchambers. Dean, Theo, and Sam stripped down and were about to head to the showers, when Sam just sat down on the edge of the bed. 

 

“You coming Sam?” Theo asked from the bathroom.

 

“Yeah give me a minute.” He said standing up and slowly walking to the shower. 

 

“What’s wrong bro?” Dean asked grinning from a joke he and Theo had been sharing.

 

Sam had a poleaxed expression on his face for the moment, then he shook his head, “No I refuse to let every memory like that trip off my emotions. I fucking refuse to let that happen. “

 

“Uh brother mine, you’re not making any sense.”

 

Sam looked at Dean the took a deep cleansing breath and put on a grin and walked towards them in the shower. “Dean I’m not going to concentrate on this right now, I’m not going to give dad’s ghost the satisfaction. Fuck the old man, god knows he fucked me enough.”

 

Sam started the water running in the shower and when it was the right temperature stepped in leaving two befuddled looking young men standing outside.

 

“Take a picture it’ll last longer.” Sam said with a grin.

 

“Dude you’re scaring me now.” Dean said seriously. “You’re the one who’s always pestering me to talk out my feelings.”

 

Sam sighed and turned off the spray and turned to them. “Dean I just remembered the first time dad raped me, and it was rape, I was 10 years old, you were out somewhere, probably hustling a pool table knowing you, I came in from playing in the yard to interrupt his watching a porn video with a six pack. He didn’t take kindly to that and well, demonstrated on me what was happening on the screen. He already had a six pack in him and was starting the second.”

 

“Sam” Dean said disgustedly. “Why do you do this to yourself?”

 

Sam looked Dean square in the eyes and replied, “You think I like having these memories read back to me.”

 

“You must,” Dean said his anger spiking now, “because God knows you beat yourself up enough with em. Sam I was 12 when dad molested me for the first time. He didn’t start out with raping me not until I turned 15 and he only done it the once cause I waited until he was drunk then beat the shit out of him with a broom handle. Then I kicked in the door and made like he’d be busted in on and the bastard swallowed it whole. “ Dean was finishing up on a reasonable note.

 

“Well good for you, I wasn’t so lucky, he started with me at 10, and beat me into submission regularly. 

“I guess that accounts why I like it rough most of the time and why I can take as much as I can.” Sam said matter-of-factly.

 

Dean looked at him gaping, “Dude that’s sick, shit if that’s why you get off on being beat I’ll never do it again.”

 

Sam stared at him, “Don’t you understand that gets me so horny I can’t stand myself. At first when dad would beat me he’d do it until was near the blacking out point, then he’d pull back, he stopped doing it when I was 15 cause he saw me naked once after he’d done it and I was throwing some serious wood and always have had. I don’t want you to stop, can’t you fucking see! I deserve it for being so fucking stupid as a kid, and, and it makes me hornier than hell.” Sam wasn’t crying he wasn’t showing any emotion except cold reason, then he sank to his knees in the shower and leaned against the wall, “I’m more fucked than a 2 dollar whore in Vegas.” Dean walked into the shower and grabbed Sam and with some effort stood him back up. Then was about to slap some sense into him but settled for shaking his shoulders hard. 

 

“Sam!” Dean pleaded. “Please you are scaring the shit out of me, snap out of this dude.” Sam looked at Dean blankly for a moment, then seemed to come back to himself. He turned and turned the spray back on causing Dean to leap out of the cold water, but Sam stood there and took it willingly. The when it was heated up to comfortable Dean and Theo got into the shower, quickly cleaning themselves then carefully washing Sam, they got him out and dried off then led him into the bedroom. He sat down on the bed mechanically, he was looking at them but looking through them at the same time. Theo was wringing his hands and pacing.

 

“I can do something, but I’m not supposed to.” He kept saying.

 

“Whatever you can do, do it, I’ll cover for you.” Dean shouted bringing Theo out of his nervous pacing. He ran over to the bedside and grabbed Sam by the head and closed his eyes, he glowed almost incandescent for a moment, shedding his human form for a instant and nearly bright enough to blind Dean. Then he was back to himself and looking around scared. Suddenly Michael was in the bedroom.

 

“Was that you I just felt?” He asked severely.

 

“Yes, yes, I’m sorry it was Sam.” Theo said fearfully.

 

Michael turned now on Sam and stared for a moment at the figure who sat shaking his head violently for a moment and looking stunned. “What did you do?” Michael asked quietly.

 

“I didn’t erase the memory I just put a block in place on it. He can reach for it but never seem to touch it until that block is removed.” Theo was pacing again.

 

Michael reached out and stopped him, “Ease up boyo, you may have done the first useful thing that we can do in a case like this.”

 

This stopped Theo like getting broadsided. “You mean I did a good thing?” He asked in a small voice.

 

Michael laughed and looked at him. “Sometimes we old-timers have to have the way led by the children.

You did a good thing son. Just be careful about doing it again, have me or Castiel here to guide you okay?”

 

“Thank you sir.” Theo said abjectly.

 

“Perk up, this attitude doesn’t suit you, and it doesn’t fit in with what you did.” Then Michael’s eyes defocused for a moment he stared at Sam with wonder and pleasure, then the defocusing and he was back to Michael. “Adam begged me to allow him to see his brother. Tend him well now.”

 

Then Michael was gone. Theo walked over to the bedside and sat down next to Sam who was staring at Dean and Theo in turn. His gaze was normal and he looked confused.

 

“What just happened, the last thing I remember clearly was standing in the door of the bathroom arguing with you about something.” Sam asked curiously.

 

“It’s okay bro, you were going catatonic on us, Theo put a memory block on you to shut out a really bad memory you were having. “

 

Sam looked at both of them again, “It must’ve been a doozy because I can’t even recall what I said. Could I have also had a seizure?” He asked.

 

“It’s very possible.” Theo said quietly. “Come on and lay down mama bear, you’ve scared me enough for one night.”

 

Sam looked at them again in turn then slid over in the bed and lay down with Theo immediately taking his place on the side. Dean sat down on the bedside and looked at Sam carefully for a moment. 

“I’m sorry if I shook you up, I didn’t mean to.” He apologized. Dean leaned into him and kissed him soundly. 

 

“It’s okay, papa bear and baby is here with you. We’ll get through this together okay?” Dean’s eyes were brimming with unshed tears, he looked over at Theo and he wasn’t doing much better.

They lay down with him soothing him then and that was the way they fell asleep. 

 

The next day while Sam was out helping Bobby sort out a problem with a computer in a car, Dean called the number on the card. He got the voice mail and quickly described the problem and gave his cell phone number as the contact number. Then he went out to the barn to join them. Theo was already out there working on a rear quarter panel that needed sanding to prime. 

 

“Got that took care of?” Dean asked.

 

“Yeah, it was just a programming problem, I interfaced it with my laptop and cleared it up. Glad I downloaded that ACE software some time ago. With all the work you are doing on the cars, I figured it would come in handy sometime. If you don’t need me for now I’m going to go back and check out that situation in San Francisco to be sure we took care of the problem. I still feel like we left a stone unturned.” 

 

“Nah we’re good now, go look up your soul sucker.” Bobby said grinning as he proceeded to reinstall the computer on the 81 Monte Carlo. He looked at Dean, “Ok so this won’t bring as much as that cherry Thunderbird we sold last Thursday, it’ll bring a little bit.”

 

“And it keeps you out of trouble.” Theo said smartly from his vantage point. Dean leaned out the roll up door and saw the back of Sam disappearing into the house and he visibly sagging. Bobby looked up shrewdly.

 

“Bad night?” He asked. 

 

Dean stepped back in the garage where he could keep an eye on the back of the house and told Bobby in detail what had happened. When he finished the old hunter let out a low whistle. “You did call his doc?”

 

“Just hung up the phone on his private voice mail line, I’m waiting to hear back from him.” As if that were some unspoken signal Dean’s cell phone rang, he quickly answered it. 

 

“Dean?”

 

“Doc, hey.”

 

“So give me a little more detail about this situation.” Dean did excluding the part of Theo’s intervention for the moment.

 

“How is he this morning?” Dr. Connor asked.

 

“Back to normal, but there’s a reason for that as well. I had a little help in there with a friend who is highly psychically attuned.”

 

“That good looking young kid that was with you the other day?”

 

“That’s him.” 

 

“Good thing that he is attuned. It sounds like he was entering a state of catatonia. I don’t want to subject him to a group session, besides I don’t have a group for hunters. However, if this happens again we’re going to check him into the Avera Center over on West 69th Street. I can put him into private treatment over there and they’ll take good care of him. But I don’t want to do this unless he specifically had a secondary attack. Hell I’d prefer not even suggesting it to him right now.”

 

Dean nodded on his end, “I feel the same way. It’s a dodgy situation.”

 

“Thanks for letting me know about this. This changes the dynamic in the way I was going to treat him. How are you dealing with it?” 

 

“To tell you the truth it scared me shitless.” Dean admitted.

 

“I understand, call me next time at 906-555-1733, that’s my private number. We can make arrangements to get him to treatment and I can be there to admit him. It would go easier on him if a familiar face were there.” Dr. Connor advised.

 

Suddenly Dean felt someone looking over his shoulder and he turned to face Sam. “Oh shit, I gotta go.”

He hung up the phone. Bobby and Theo were looking shocked as well as Sam had just walked up with a print out.

 

“You were on the phone with Doc Connor weren’t you?”

 

Dean was caught out red handed there was nothing he could do but admit it. “Yes I did, you scared the shit out of me last night and I wanted to know how to handle it if it happened again.”

 

Dean was surprised by Sam giving him a sloppy kiss. “Thanks for caring.” Then he turned to the others who were visibly relaxing. “Look I’m not going to hide the fact here, I am one fucked up cookie in the jar. But I don’t want to be handheld. I’ve got work to do.” Then he turned to Dean, “Speaking of work to do, somebody is going to have to go back out to Frisco. There were two of them and this one is working the waterfront.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Aw shit.” Bobby said glumly, he turned to Theo,” How do you feel about going to kill a demon, “Well I’ll be able to locate it now.” Theo admitted. “I just feel bad about leaving you here.” He said to Sam and Dean. 

 

“We’ll be fine,” Sam admitted, “I’m not going back out until I have a better control over this situation, I’ll be worth more to the group being another Ash.”

 

“I’m sorry bro.” Dean said sadly.

 

Sam shook his head, “Don’t be, at least I’ll still be of some use. I can’t go because something might happen and I freak out again, and either you or Bobby will have to stay behind to keep an eye out on me. So you two can flip to go out there.” Sam said looking at them both with no angst at being left behind showing on his face.

 

“I’ll go.” Bobby volunteered, “this is going to be a straight up demon hunt, we find and eliminate the ground troops then get our ass back here.” 

 

“Keep me posted,” Sam advised, “I can give you data but I need particulars to do any good. I’ll go ahead and down load some good GPS software to help out.” Sam said heading back towards the house. Dean, Bobby and Theo shared a look that read would have been a simple sigh of relief but one of guilt as well.

 

“Let me go in and talk to him.” Theo said looking at Dean.

 

Dean agreed, “You’ll definitely do better than I could right now. You know me I don’t do touchy feely all that well.” 

 

Theo walked over and kissed him, “I know but I love you anyway.” He said walking towards the house as well.

 

Dean looked up at Bobby who said, “Don’t look at me giving you a smooch, come on we got engine work to do here.” Dean walked over to the other side of the car and started to work with Bobby in something he was actually good at.

 

In the house Sam was seated at his computer in the office looking blankly at it for the moment and then he looked up as he saw a shadow eclipse the door frame. “Oh Theo. Did Dean send you to check up on me?”

 

“No I came of my own accord, I was worried about you.” Theo said shuffling his feet.

 

“Come on over baby bear, I won’t bite and I’m not totally crazy yet.” Sam said smiling. Theo walked over and around the desks and sat on the edge of the one Sam occupied. Sam reached out and touched Theo’s thigh, “Contrary to what a lot of people might think, I lived for 30 years with these memories and they were in check, okay so I’m having some problems now, I’ll deal. You see Theo, your father is benevolent and malevolent, just look at the Old Testament. Just like my dad was, only dad’s bad points outweighed the good most of the time.” 

 

Theo smiled a bit, “I was going to say there must be some good memories of your father in there.” He leaned over and tapped Sam’s forehead.

 

“There are,” Sam sadly admitted, “They’re actually several in there, it’s just the bad seem to play out more right now than the good.”

 

“Theo would please remove that block from my mind?” Sam asked. 

 

Theo blanched and looked at him carefully. “Mama bear, I am scared to try that right now. I did you a service and disservice by blocking that memory off, and I’m afraid that if I undo it, I’ll let more than the genie out of the bottle.” 

 

Sam smiled warmly at him and nodded, “Good that was a good answer and a truthful one, thank you. And yes, wait until I’m much stronger before taking that block down.”

 

Theo reached out a hand and caressed Sam’s cheek, “I think you are very strong already, the only problem is that this memory is titanic next to your resolve, it scared me and I hope that I don’t scare that easily.”

 

“You better go pack for your trip, you’re going to probably be on the road for a while, and Bobby is a somewhat brutal taskmaster when it comes to field work, but he’s the best in the business.” Sam admitted.

 

Theo bent down now and kissed him then walked out of the office and to the bedroom to pack his duffel, Sam waited until he heard the sound of drawers opening and then reached out and moved his keyboard out of the way, leaned his head forward resting face down on his crossed arms and silently crying. Sitting like that for a long moment he failed to notice the silent shadow that appeared in the room. Castiel walked around the desk and laid his hand gently on Sam’s shoulders. Sam jerked up in surprise, his cheeks tear streaked. His eyes reddened. He looked at Castiel and then got up and checked the hallway. He came back over and sat at his place in the office, he and Castiel shared a glance. Then Castiel indicated a small pot he just happened to sit on Sam’s desk. 

 

“Joshua asked me to bring a cutting from his garden, he thought it would please you, he tells me that a leave when bruised releases a fragrance guaranteed to ease a troubled mind.” Sam looked at the small bushy plant that was slightly smaller than a gallon jug. 

 

“That’s just it Cas, I’m plagued with memories that are threatening my mind. And there’s not a damn thing I can do to control them right now.” 

 

Castiel touched Sam’s face, “You’re stronger than what you give yourself credit for. You’ve just been sorely tried.” Castiel reached out to the plant and pinched a single leaf and rubbed it between his fingers. Suddenly a fragrance wafted to Sam, it was slight smelling of evergreens and herbs, he even fancied that if the sun could have a fragrance that’s what it would smell like and he slowly smiled. Then he looked at Castiel with some hope. 

 

“And there you go.” Castiel said with a smile and vanished. Sam sat back and inhaled the remaining fragrance that hung in the air around his desk and smiled a bit more.

 

“I will beat this Castiel, it may seem like it’s getting me, but I will beat this.” Sam said still smiling when Theo walked back in carrying his duffle.

 

“Angel Thyme!” I smell “Angel Thyme.” He said excitedly. Then saw the plant on Sam’s desk.

Sam looked at Theo with his eyes shining now, the tears forgotten for the time being. “Castiel said Joshua thought I might need this.” 

 

Theo grinned. “Usually it is only found in his gardens, it’s a common enough plant but it does smell so good.” Theo said inhaling the fragrance.”

 

Theo went over to the desk, he reached down and hugged Sam fiercely “I’ll miss you.”

 

“I’ll miss you too, but I’ll look forward to your coming back.” Sam said with a grin.

 

They kissed fondly for the moment and Sam laughed, “Oh my God, Dean would have a fit over our girly moment.” 

 

“I rather like it.” Theo said returning to the kiss. After a long moment they broke and Theo shouldered his satchel and took it out to the Shelby in the garage then went to get Bobby who had already give up on any more work on the Chevy to get his bag packed. They finally came back in the house together, Dean coming in from the barn, his hands smelling of strong soap used to cut the grease. They had a moment together then Sam and Dean were waving them out of the garage and onto the road. Sam looked at the departing car for a long moment and then turned back to Dean. 

 

“I will really have to get in practice data sifting to be anywhere near as good as Ash.” A paused then, “I miss him and Ellen, hell all of them.”

 

“Yeah me too bro, me too.”

 

They walked back into the house and Dean paused in the kitchen to put a hand on Sam’s shoulder causing him to turn, “I’m going to be all right Dean. I may freak out from time to time, and I promise if I feel like it is going to be near as bad as the last night, I’ll give you plenty of heads up.” 

 

Dean shook his head, “Sammy, last night it hit you like a bolt out of the blue, what’s to say the next time won’t either?”

 

Sam sighed and hugged Dean, “I promise to at least try to give you a heads up before it happens, ok? Look I don’t like this either.”

 

“You’d be a fucking nut if you did.” Then it hit Dean what he just said and he apologized profusely to Sam.

 

“Don’t be sorry about it Dean, it’s true, right now I am unstable.”

 

They went into the living room with Sam stretching out on the sofa and with an invitation, Dean stretched out on him. They lay cuddled like that for over an hour each loving the sensation and not wanting to give it up, and feeling a bit sleepy as well. For them cuddling was almost a narcotic. Dean looked at Sam for a long moment, his eyes mirroring the hope that he wanted Sam to feel. Sam got the message and smiled softly at him. Sam knew that moments like this were slightly uncomfortable for Dean but at the same time, there was comfort in these moments as well. Just when the lassitude of the afternoon was about to take over sending them into a nap Sam’s cell phone rang, He shifted his brother slightly to reach it and clicked it open.

 

“Theo?”

 

“Hey, just wanted to let you know we’re in San Francisco. Bobby’s driving now.”

 

“But how? You just left.” Then Sam shook his head in wonder. “You mojoed the car there didn’t you?”

 

“It seemed sensible, just damn, it takes a lot out of ya.” Theo said and Sam could almost hear the grin. 

 

“So what’s on the agenda?” Sam asked.

 

There was a silence for a moment and Theo said tiredly. “We’re going to find a motel on the rim of the city to stay in for the night to allow me to recharge. Then we’re going hunting tomorrow.”

 

Sam was curious, “So you have a direction to go in?”

 

“The wharf district.” Theo said with finality, “I feel the gathering down there.”

 

“Gathering? More than one.” 

 

“Feels like about three or four.”

 

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Sam asked concerned.

 

“Up for what?” Dean asked now concerned as well.

 

Sam held up a finger for a moment.

 

“Do you need us out there, we can fly. And you shut up Dean, it’ll only be about a 2 hour flight down there.”

 

“We’ll do fine, you stay put, consider this a test for me.”

 

“A test where you can fly or die.” Sam said testily.

 

“I’ll be fine mama bear.” Theo replied.

 

“You damn well better be.”

 

“Well we’re at the motel, I think as soon as we get the room settled I’m going to take a nap.” Theo told Sam.

 

“Sounds like a plan. Put it into action.” Sam said with a grin.

 

“Talk to you later on?”

 

“You got it.” Sam replied. “Love you.”

 

“You too mama. Tell papa bear I love him too.”

 

“I will. You go night, night.” 

 

“God you’re not gonna let me forget that one are you?” Theo faux griped.

 

“Nope. See ya.” And ended that call placing another. “We need you.”

 

The air popped for a moment in the room and Castiel appeared. “What is thy bidding?” He said sarcastically.

 

“You know about this hunting trip Theo and Bobby are on?” Dean asked.

 

“Not really, I’ve been occupied in heaven and haven’t had the chance to touch base.”

 

“Looks like they’re going up against a nest of demons.” Sam responded.

 

“Oh great.” Castiel remarked. “Ok, let me get to them and find out the details. Do you want to go?” He asked them. 

 

Sam shook his head, “He insists that this is a test for him so I gotta honour that.”

 

Castiel nodded and was gone.

 

“Life was so much simpler when it was just us wasn’t it?” Sam told Dean.

 

“Yes it was, but you wouldn’t trade what we got now for that would you?” Dean asked.

 

Sam shook his head again, “No, I love them too much.” He settled for hugging Dean to him and Pressing his face against his shoulder for a moment.

 

“Shh, you ok?” Dean asked concerned.

 

Sam sighed loudly and spoke from his position on Dean’s shoulder, “I’ll have to be man, and I’ll have to be.” He flopped his head back then and looked at the ceiling lost in thought. 

 

“By the way, Doc Connor texted me about an hour ago, he wants to see you this afternoon. 2:30.” Dean told him.

 

“Well its 12:15 now, we got time.” Sam said quietly.

Dean looked at his brother, “Hey wanna go into town for lunch then go to the appointment.” 

 

Sam laughed, “Thinking with your stomach again are you?”

 

Dean barked a laugh as well, “That or my dick, so sue me.”

 

“Wouldn’t get nothing.” Sam said smiling, then they kissed long and finally Dean levered himself up and Sam followed, they headed out to the car and piled in. 

 

Lunch was a simple affair at one of their favourite hole-in-the-wall restaurants that they never lost a love for. They dined on simple food which they were finally glad to get, just because they were filthy rich didn’t mean they had to squander what they had. They then headed just up the way and across to the professional building and parked. In the office Sam checked in at 2:15. At 2:30 the receptionist motioned for them to go back. She took them to a different room, one with a couch. It took a few minutes but Dr. Connor was soon with them.

 

“So Sam, I hear you had a fun night last night?”

 

“That’s just it I can’t remember any of it.”

 

“Probably good for you, Dean did tell me about it in detail, and I’m glad for whatever your boy did to block that memory for the time being. We need to deal with your past in stages not in a full gulp.”

 

Sam nodded, then the Doctor continued. “What I would like to know right now is how do you feel about life at the present.”

 

“Good, I mean I’m anxious about Theo and Bobby, they’re on a hunt in San Francisco and I’m not too thrilled about that, but I can’t go, not right now. I’d be a liability. And I have to have someone to stay with me unfortunately.”

 

“Sounds like that may have upset you some.” Connor said.

 

Sam nodded, “I feel like a 5 year old again, needing a baby sitter. But I know why and I can’t say I’m too thrilled about that either.”

 

“Dean how are you feeling?” Connor asked.

 

“Me, fine, I mean I’m glad to have some alone time with Sam, and I’m glad he wants me to hang around him right now.”

 

“Did you think he might not?”

 

Dean shook his head “No it’s not that, I just wonder if I might be a problem for him to have around from time to time.”

 

Sam looked shocked, “How do you come by you being a problem?”

 

Dean looked down for a moment, “Sam we have more than a sexual history, we grew up together, we shared the same abuse.”

 

“And how are you dealing with it?” Connor asked.

 

Dean looked at him and smiled, “I get mad, take it out on an inanimate object and then blow it off.”

 

Connor looked over at Sam for a moment, “Have you ever tried that?”

 

Sam paused a moment then replied, “I’ve tried, but I’m just not as good at it as Dean. I tend to try and reason things out more. Dad used to say that I was like my mom in that regard.”

 

“So you do have some good memories of your father?” Conner said.

 

Sam nodded slowly, “Very few, but yes, there are some good memories there.”

 

“What about you Dean?” Connor started. “Do you feel some good feelings about your father?”

 

“Yeah, he tried with me, he tried to make me over into a carbon copy of him, part of him succeeded in that I’m mentally harder than nails but have the time to time crashes. I just don’t drink myself into oblivion.”

 

“That a good thing.” Connor observed. “Sam tell me about your teenage years, tell me what it was like when you were 13.”

 

Sam thought long and hard about that. “It was a training time for me, Dad would take time out to train me in weapons and fighting. I was coming along then and puberty was very unkind to me, considering how tall and gangly I turned out to be. But dad would train, then he would drink, then he would rape me or beat me.” 

 

Connor looked at Sam thoughtfully for a moment, “And this doesn’t create any difficult feelings for you?”

 

Sam nodded, “It does but in the past I could deal with it without a problem, but lately if I think too long and hard about the situation, I react well, I react not violently, but internally violent if that makes any sense.”

 

Connor returned the nod and smiled. “Do you have any feelings about your dad right now?” 

 

Sam shook his head, “I try not to think about him too much.”

 

This was the path that their conversation took for the next hour with Dr. Connor questioning Sam to get him to remember his past and Sam recalling some events but somehow blocking out the emotions he demonstrated the other night. Overall this concerned Dean because he began to feel that the block might be set too firm then Dr. Connor started some direct questioning asking for detailed answers. Sam would respond with “I don’t want to think about that.” The doctor would look at him, for a moment then ask some more pointed questions. Finally Sam started bridling at the line of questions.

 

“Why do you want to go there?” Sam asked his anger heating.

 

“Why do you not?” Connor returned the question.

 

Sam shook his head now as if clearing it, “Because it’s unproductive.”

 

Connor looked at Sam levelly, “Does everything have to be productive to you?”

 

Sam stared at the doctor and grimaced, “It helps.”

 

“Sam are you feeling all right?” The doctor suddenly asked changing his tact in questioning entirely.

 

“No I’m not, I’ve got a headache and I don’t feel good at all.”

 

“Stretch out and lay your head in Dean’s lap, isn’t that what you’d do at home?”

 

Sam suited the doctor’s words to actions and he did, “Most of the time.”

 

“Now Sam, what is it about your father that pisses you off the most.”

 

“WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW…” suddenly Sam gripped his head fearing that it was about to explode and the wall came crashing down and the feelings that were blocked came flooding back to him. “Why did you do that?” He asked dangerously calm.

 

“Because you need to deal with these feeling not have them artificially dammed. After all what would happen to you if you were in the field and that block crumbled?”

 

“I’d soon be dead.” Sam said coldly. “I remember what set me off now.” He said quietly, Dean looked at him with severe concern and to the doctor with not a little anger.

 

“Why did you break that block, he was doing perfectly fine.”

 

“He was living an artificial life, he was controlled but the control was fractious.”

 

“You have no idea what you’ve just done.” Dean said coldly.

 

“Oh I think I do, don’t you Sam?” Connor said looked at Sam.

 

Sam seemed to be lost in thought for a moment and then shook his head. “Not productive…” Sam said gripping his shoulders in a tight self hug. Dean bent over and held onto him. “God damn you Connor.” Sam muttered.

 

“He probably will, but until such a time comes it’s my responsibility to see that you face and accept yourself. Warts and all.”

 

“I was 10,” Sam started and Dean felt a cold chill down his back. “Dad was watching porn and suited words to actions on me. The he beat me when I wouldn’t respond. I wanted to be dead, I felt like I was dying. Dean came home from his outing and found me in the bedroom, naked, balled up and crying. I remember him cleaning me up. He made a fuss about the blood.” Sam’s voice started sounding small as tears started tracking his cheeks and his gaze became unfocused. Suddenly Dean felt Sam shaking, not a seizure but common shakes. He gripped him in a hug. 

 

“Stay with me bro.” Dean said quietly hugging him.

 

“He hurt me Dean…” Sam said as he broke down in sobs the memories flooding back and the terror ripe in his eyes. He curled into Dean and held on desperately. Dr. Connor quietly picked up the phone made a call and then returned to his patients. 

 

“Sam, Sam, can you hear me? Do you remember who I am?” Connor asked walking around his desk.

 

“Doctor Connor…why can’t I stop hurting, Dean he hurt me so many times. I want to die. And he hurt you too. I wanted to kill him…”

 

Dr. Connor continued, “I want to check you into a special hospital where we can work together, I want to help you get well, do you want that?” 

 

Sam and Dean looked at him, Dean with daggers in his eyes. “Seems like we have no choice.” Dean said coldly. 

 

Connor shot Dean a similar look in return, “Dean, you’ve always had a choice, but he’s got to confront and overcome these demons, they are the kind that it takes time to exorcise, but we’ll get them gone if you work with me on this.”

 

“C-can you stop the dreams doctor.” Sam said stuttering and shaking.

 

“I can help you understand and get rid of the feelings that you have about the dreams and maybe yes, we can stop them together.”

 

“I was 10 and he was watching porn…” Sam started again. 

 

“Do something doctor.” The receptionist came in with a loaded syringe and sanitary wipe, the doctor pushed up Sam’s sleeve and gave him a quick injection. He then looked to Dean.

 

“That was a simple sedative, something to relax him a bit and get him calmed down some, if he continues going the way he is well, it’s circularity and it’s not a good thing to have happen.” The doctor explained simply. 

 

Sam slowly stopped shaking and looked up at Dean and the Doctor, “I can’t get him out of my head now, what did you do?” Sam asked accusingly.


	10. Chapter 10

Sam, you’ve got to understand, the block was a good thing, but it was temporary, you saw how my simple questioning got it to crumble, your friend is good, but what if that had happened in the field, just the right amount of stress and the wall would crumble and then…you would be defenseless. Sam I want to help you, but we have to work on this together, can you do that with me?” Connor asked quietly.

Sam slowly nodded to the figure kneeling beside him now. 

 

“I’m going to check you into the Avera Behavioral Treatment Center, you won’t be stoned out of your gourd, but we will work through this together okay?” Sam just nodded and wrapped his arms I a hug around Dean’s waist and held on. He looked at Dean, “I want you with him for the initial intake, but I want you to remember to keep silent unless I ask you a direct question, please, this is very important.”

 

Dean nodded and held onto his brother who was not shaking now, but still crying and slightly dozing.

Dean acted as if he were smoothing Sam’s hair down, one of Sam’s ears was pressed against Dean’s thigh, he covered the other one on a stroke of his hair.

 

“Doctor I need to talk with you alone and soon.” He looked down as Sam who had his eyes closed now and was breathing rhythmically. Dean sighed, “Good he’s sleeping for the moment. I remember what dad did as well and if he did half the stuff to Sam he did to me.”

 

The doctor looked at Dean with compassion. “Dean, I’m seriously afraid that what he did to you was practice for what he did to your brother. You’re the product of a hard, harsh family life. Your father was an alcoholic yes?”

 

Dean nodded.

“And he was physically, sexually, and emotionally abusive, yes?”

Dean nodded again.

 

“You and Sam were comforters to the other, but you had to clean up Sam quite often didn’t you?”

Once again Dean nodded.

 

“How often was there blood to clean?”

 

“Just a few times, We learned early on that when we got in from school we were to immediately lube ourselves up just in case. It was harder on Sam because he was just a 4th grader when this shit started. He was just a kid for Christ’s sake.” Dean said crying now and angrily wiping the tears away. The doctor grabbed his hand.

 

“Don’t this is poison for you as well, you may think crying is unmanly but it’s the best way to leech the poison out of your system.” The doctor checked Sam’s pulse and respirations and was satisfied. “Dean in a moment there will be some EMT’s here to take Sam over to the hospital I want you to ride with him.”

“I wasn’t about to leave him.” Dean responded. Then started as his phone rang. “Yeah.” He said sniffling.

 

“Papa bear you okay?” Theo asked concerned.

 

“Oh hey Theo, yeah I’ll be fine, we’re at the doctors.”

 

“Okay,” Theo said hesitantly, “I just wanted to let you know that we’ve flushed out part of the horde and got them on the run. We know which direction they are taking and have set traps on their lair. They’ll have to return there as they left some precious possessions behind.”

 

“Okay sounds like a winner, is Castiel there with you?”

 

“Yeah, we’ve got the situation under control, what about you?” 

 

“Sam’s being admitted to hospital.”

 

“What about the block?” Theo asked shocked.

 

“The doctor forced his way through it.”

 

“FUCK! Why did he do that?” Theo said angrily.

 

“Easy baby bear, he did it for a good reason, I don’t agree with it, but his reasoning is that if it could be broached through what little stress he put Sam under in the office what would’ve happened in the field where the stress would’ve been worse?”

 

“I would’ve reinforced the block.” Theo demanded hotly.

 

“Easy easy, you did a great job, the block was doing what it was meant to do, it’s not your fault.” Dean said sternly.

 

“Yes sir.” Theo agreed reluctantly this his voice sounded shaky, “So what’s going to happen to Sam?” 

 

“He’ll be in hospital for a while then we go from there. Oh shit the EMT’s are here let me call you back in a bit ok?”

 

“Yeah papa bear, I love you.”

 

“Love you more.” Dean said his heart going out on the call. 

 

Dean hung up the phone and turned his attention to Sam and with the EMT’s there with a gurney they carefully placed Sam on it, he stirred a bit then relaxed again in natural sleep. After restraining him for the trip they took him out with Dean following. 

 

The doctor told his receptionist, “I’ll be back in an hour, I need to get a patient checked in.” Dean and Sam were transported to the Avera Center, while the doctor followed.

 

The trip was blessedly short but at the same time to Dean it seemed to take forever. He got out after they unloaded Sam who started to wake. Dean stepped up to him as they wheeled him into the Emergency Admissions section and stroked his hair.

 

“Shh, go back to sleep I’m here with you.” 

 

“Okay.” Sam said drowsily. The doctor came in and met with the staff the check in went smoothly and without question. Sam was soon resting in a hospital bed with Dean beside him in a chair holding his hands. 

 

It was on into the evening that Sam finally awoke, and looked around in shock, “Oh not another fucking hospital. Can’t I stay out of these for a couple of years at least?” He griped. Dean smiled and looked at him carefully then kissed him tearfully. “What’s the matter?” Sam asked concerned. 

 

Dean wiped at his eyes but couldn’t stop the flow of tears as yes the stress did start to leech out of his system. He lay his head down on the bed and sobbed then, confusing and causing Sam not a little concern. Sam started smoothing Dean’s hair for a change and loving on him kissing his head and gentling him down. It took a while but Dean finally looked up disgusted.

 

“Shit, I hate doing that.” He said angrily. “You had me scared big time Sammy.”

 

“Where are we?” He asked Dean looking around the room again. 

 

“The Avera Center is what the Doc told me. He said it is a behavioral treatment hospital.”

 

“Oh great a nut hutch.” Sam said disgusted as well.

 

Dean shook his head, “Probably, but we need this right now, both of us need this.

 

A nurse came into the room then and smiling asked, “So are you ready to go to your real room now? I’m sorry that we had to put you in here but housekeeping has had their hands full today. Do you feel like walking?” She asked him.

 

Dean helped Sam stand, he was barefooted now, Dean grabbed his shoes and helped him walk down the hall to another room that looked amazingly like some of the motels that they’ve stayed in, no hospital bed, just a plain double bed he noted. With some amenities like a television set and small refrigerator stocked with juices and some soft drinks. Settling him into bed Dean and the nurse eased him down. 

 

“We’ll get you some pajamas in a moment, you’ll want to change into them, you don’t have to go to group, but it does meet twice a day, at 10am and 2pm. You are welcome to join them if you feel the need. But Doctor Connor and Doctor Hanks will be treating you privately.” She informed him.

 

Sam nodded and then looked at Dean and sat up on the bed throwing his legs over the side. 

 

“Just what exactly can I expect?” He asked the nurse.

 

“Well from us, we’ll be occasionally to check your vital signs, if you have to be put on an IV for anything, we’ll keep a track on that. Otherwise, Doctor Hanks will explain his part in your process in a few minutes. He’s finishing with a patient down the hall and…” The door opened to admit a very familiar face, it was Joshua. 

 

“I’m sorry sir but this patient is not allowed…” 

 

Joshua smiled and nodded, “You’ll find that I’m allowed.” He said pleasantly. She accepted that and stood.

 

“I’ll go check on Dr. Hanks for you.” She then left the room.

 

“So Samuel, your past is finally catching up with your present?” He asked calmly. Sam nodded looking at the angel. 

 

“I’m afraid it is and frankly, I’m scared.” He admitted.

 

“I’d be surprised if you weren’t.” Joshua noted. “But rest easy you’re being watched over. Ride this thing out as unpleasant as it will be.” 

 

“Yes sir.” Sam said unsteadily and then Joshua was gone as the door opened and admitted a doctor and the nurse who was carrying several items. She laid them on the bed next to Sam.

 

The doctor looked Sam over for the moment and then smiling introduced himself, “John Hanks. I’ll be your other doctor while you’re with us. I want you to know that we are not going to keep you against your will that you’re free to leave anytime. But we do want to help you recover. To do that we need a few things out of you. First we need your cooperation during therapy. I know it’ll seem tedious and you’ll probably think unnecessary, but bear with us.” He said calmly. “We have a few things for you, pajamas, some forms to sign, and the most important part,” he held up a large laminated card of blue, “we understand the need for privacy. So when you and your partner want some private time, just put that card on the slot in the door outside and you’ll be afforded that. Just remember to take it down as well. “

 

Sam filled out the requisite paperwork, and then as they left he started undoing his shirt to change into the pajamas. Dean looked at him curiously. “So you want to stay for this ride?” Dean asked.

 

“IF they can help me, yeah I’m willing to give it a shot. Dean I’m scared shitless. I’ll not lie to you on that count for sure. I’m scared of what their treatment may turn up.”

 

So Sam changed and crawled into bed, Dean was brought a set of pajamas as well and changed crawling in beside him and settling down for a bit. They both lay back looking out the window as the fading daylight and wondered what the next few days would hold. One thing which scared Sam and was a mania with him to the present was that after his father raped him for the last time, he’d been dragged over to the health center and had a blood test done for std’s, he was fully expecting a positive result when it came back negative, that was the closest he’d ever come to being religious. He’d maintained that he would forever be checked every three months after that and had not failed in that.

 

Sadly the next few days passed in a painful haze for Sam, he was forced to recall his childhood then pulled through the mire and helped out. Dean was there for the whole ride as he said he would be. But he wasn’t prepared for the monsters that the treatment would unleash. Every day that the doctors came by there was some trepidation as to what they would turn up in their examination, but slowly the trepidation faded, the guilt as well, the only thing that remained was finally rebuilding that emotional wall that had disintegrated under the earlier assault not by the doctors but by a singular sexual event. 

There were nights that Sam went to sleep shivering uncontrollably next to Dean, and some nights when they both were shivering, racked from the day’s events. 

 

The doctors were gentle in their explorations but they were doggedly persistent to find the cause, leech out the poison and help him clean the wound. They all realized that they would never get it all out of the system but they did come to see that Sam was doing a better job of accepting the past, and getting on with the present. The hardest part for Sam was even the consideration of going to a group session, he did not want to consider the idea, but he knew as well that it would help him enormously if he did. So patiently he dressed for the 2pm session one day, he went down and it was as uncomfortable an event as he figured it would be, there were people there who were in bad shape, and some worse than him some better off. But he felt withdrawn, like he didn’t belong with them and so quit going. The doctors tried to winnow out that feeling in him and he refused to budge. He slowly got used to his medicine regimen and found that it would help him and that he could help himself, so it came that one day about a week into the treatment he was told he had visitors and was escorted to the consult area where he was thrilled to see Theo and Bobby. He gave them both huge hugs as did Dean. 

 

“How’re you doing?” Bobby asked.

 

“Better, it was rough going for a while and still is, but the drugs are helping, and no I’m not feeling doped up, just calmed down. I don’t freak out as much over remembering what John did to me.” Sam said.

 

“So you quit calling him dad?” Bobby asked.

 

“No, it’s just that the doctors taught me that when I feel a negative thought about him to disassociate him from the role of father by thinking about him by his first name.” Sam shrugged. “It works.”

 

“Just so long as you’re feeling better.” Theo said hugging him again.


	11. Chapter 11

“I’m doing pretty good, how did the hunt go?” Sam asked.

 

“We nailed 6 demons before we were done, they’d thought they would have got gone, but the traps we laid for them in their lair worked and we rounded them up pretty quickly.” Theo replied.

 

“Yeah, this kid is pretty damn good in a fight, I’ll give him that.” Bobby bragged, causing Theo to blush furiously.

 

“Still getting used to fulsome praise are we?” Sam said with a grin.

 

“Well.” Theo started.

 

Then Dean shook his head sadly. “At least we got them on the run now. Maybe they’ll stay that way for a while.” 

 

“So how long you gonna be in here?” Bobby said looking around curiously. 

 

“About another week I hope.” Sam said looking around as well. Then shaking his head a bit, he commented, “We already have tackled so much I just want to get the baggage took care of so things will start looking up for us. I don’t _want_ to be a liability to the group.”

 

They sat and talked like that until the early evening hours just visiting and too soon they said their farewells for the night. Several times during the week Sam and Dean made use of the privacy card as they did for the evening after the visit. Dean held Sam as he shook and cried at the enforced separation, then cooled him off from the embarrassment of losing it like that and finally loving him into submission. It was then a good three hours before the card came down. The rest of the week went in a similar fashion, they would have regular visits from Bobby and Theo, they would talk about inconsequential matters and then bid each other farewell. Then after about 10 days Dr. Connor discussed the possibility of Sam going home. 

 

“You seem to have a better handle on the situation at present and I would imagine you’d prefer the privacy of your own bedroom now.” Dr. Conner stated. “So I think that tomorrow we’ll go ahead and dismiss you to outpatient care. Okay?”

 

“Okay!?” Sam repeated incredulous “I could kiss you for that Doctor!” 

 

“Well don’t let protocol hold you back.” The doctor said jokingly and was surprised when Sam leaped to his feet, grabbed the doctor in a hug then a quick smack on the lips. He then reseated himself and looked all attention at the doctor who was now beet red.

 

“Well I’ve gotten a lot of things from patients but that is one of the few kisses I’ve got from my male patients.”

 

“Doc, I’m so glad to be where I am I’d go further, but I don’t think even protocol would stand for that.” 

 

“No, you’d get us both into trouble.” Connor said with a grin.

 

So one more night then their release, they had laundered their clothing regularly and were quickly dressed and waited to be dismissed, Sam signed the requisite paperwork and went into the lobby where an excited Bobby and Theo were waiting for them. They exchange the requisite hugs, but this time they were larger and longer. They started out the door of the center and started to pile into the Impala. 

 

“Where to?” Bobby asked from the driver’s seat.

 

“Famous Dave’s” Dean said with a grin.

 

“You must be hungry.” Bobby said returning the grin and heading to the destination.

 

“Eat first, then visit, then fuck ourselves silly.”

 

“I’m okay with the first and second, but treat yourselves to the third, I’ve had my share on the road with Theo griping at being alone.” 

 

It was late when they did get home and all were ready for a shower and bed. Dean, Sam and Theo bade good night to Bobby who wandered over to his apartment and they went to the shower and spent a luxurious hour just cleaning each other until the water had run cool and was threatening to run cold. They toweled off and jumped into bed Sam laughing with delight and he nearly crushed both of them in bone jarring hugs. 

 

“Sorry about that, it’s just so good to be home in our bed, with no nurses outside the door.”

 

Theo hugged and kissed him then wasted no time in starting to love on his body. Touching him everywhere and kissing about the same. Sam laughed, “Hey tiger go easy, You’ll run out of steam fast if you keep it at that pace.”

 

“Oh no I won’t I’ve been three weeks nearly four from having you and Dean, I’m hornier that a three balled tom cat in rut. I fully intend on blowing at least three wads this evening and possibly four.”

 

They all laughed uproariously and loved each other, kissing and nibbling at each other until the bed was a mess of tangled linen. They didn’t care and they didn’t stop to fix it, they were worse than a virgin couple and made no bones about it. Dean started the play with 69ing with his brother while Theo gave him a rim job and Dean proceeded to jack Theo to his first copious orgasm. Dean laughingly used the spend to lube down Theo and then he got the boy positioned and he gave Dean and Sam a look and eased into Sam. Sam gasped at the lovely large intruder and then grabbed him around the waist by locking his ankles behind Theo’s back and howling like a dog. Dean laughed and did the same followed by Theo and soon they were a fucking mass with Dean plowing his into Theo while Theo plowed into Sam, and while Theo jacked Sam off. Theo’s second orgasm and their first was as copious and filled but he didn’t back down and he held Dean in place. 

 

“I didn’t say you could go anywhere.” Theo said bending his head back getting a huge kiss from Dean. 

 

The contact didn’t take long for any of them to come back to full staff and they started again, slower this time, more languid and leisurely. Theo rode his dick deep into Sam, loving the feeling of his ass muscles clamped around his dick. Loving as well the feeling of skin against skin. Sam in the meantime was loving the need the ever present need to be loved. He would always crave domination that was engraved like the Enochian runes on his bones but he was ravenous right now and wanted to be filled, and he especially loved the three way sandwiching of having Theo in the middle. He gazed as Theo longingly and ran his tongue over his lips and dug his fingernails into the tender flesh of Theo’s ass making his plunge harder and deeper until he gasped again as he came, he wasn’t sure just what might’ve come out of his dick at this point but he didn’t care. And Sam was not about to release him, as Dean orgasmed again into Theo. He then eased out of the angel and lay down by his brother loving his with hugs and kisses, feeling Sam’s tears hot against his face. He looked down at him concerned now, with Theo lost in his lust.

 

“Sam?” Dean whispered.

 

“Just love you all so goddamn much.” He cried and hugged Dean.

 

“I love you too.” Dean whispered. 

 

“Ma-make that unan-oh my God, unanimous!” Theo said gasping as he came again doubling over with the intensity of it and collapsing on top of Sam in a cuddle with Dean and Sam. They lay in a sweaty heap like that for several minutes then Sam gasped and shoved against them.

They immediately pulled back looking at him concerned.

 

“What’s wrong?” Theo asked.

 

“Nothing it’s just both of you together weigh a ton!” Sam said laughing. They laughed and cuddled some more then Sam looked seriously at Dean, “Just because I said what I did doesn’t mean that I want you to disassemble the play room.”

 

“Huh?” Dean asked puzzled.

 

“I remember distinctly saying something of the sort; in fact I believe it was, ‘haven’t you figured out why I like to be dominated.’” Sam said looking long at Dean.

 

“Oh that!” Dean said remembering now. Then he thought for a long moment, “If you don’t want it taken down it won’t be.” 

 

“No I don’t and I don’t want to stop rough play with you both, I do like it. Perhaps it’s the one perversely good thing to come out of all that shit with John.” He grinned now and kissed them both. Then he smiled a bit, and looked at Dean, “I think little Theo wants some more attention.” 

 

All three looked down to see Theo’s dick rising to the occasion. Dean went in and got a warm wash cloth and gently washed Theo then himself down and then Sam jumped up and hopped out of bed shoving Theo to the middle and then hopping back into bed. He proceeded to soundly kiss and nibble at the angel while the angel laid back and received the loving gratefully. Dean proceeded to go down on Theo and he tongued and sucked the velvety length of the angel until he thought he would come just from that pleasure and was pleasantly and somewhat painfully surprised that he had another erection. He flipped then to a 69 position and Theo and Sam shared loving his cock. They lapped up the pre-come which was decidedly less now and sucked and nibbled on his foreskin. Until Dean was almost begging them to finish him Sam gave Theo the lead in this and he took it sinking all the way down on Dean’s cock, letting his throat muscles gentle massage the length. Then humming on him to bring him even closer the when he felt the first twitch he smiled around the cock he had in his mouth and urged him on even as Dean was urging Theo on to his next orgasm. Dean cried out over Theo’s cock as Theo returned the cry and they came together, spurting a small amount of come now and thoroughly content, Dean turned back around and lay sprawled with Theo in the middle.

 

Sam smiled at them and lay there languorously enjoying the floating sensation, he looked at Dean and Theo and smiled, “It’s good to be home.”

 

“It’s good to have you home.” Dean and Theo were agreed with that comment.

 

Sam grinned at them then started, “Oh shit I haven’t had my night dose yet.”

 

Dean looked at him, “Let it go til morning. You’re already in bed.”

 

Dean was startled by the response. “Fuck that! That’s the stuff that’s helping me keep these monsters at bay, I’m not about to ‘let it go til morning.”

 

Sam was up and headed towards the kitchen. 

 

“Well that’s a switch.” Dean muttered to Theo.

 

“He’s right though, I can put a block up, Castiel could put a block up, hell even Michael or Joshua could block some of the emotions, but stress is a powerful enemy and can tear down those blocks.” Theo said quietly.

 

“Which is why I’m not skipping my meds, I did that with the Tegretol and look what it cost me that time. I’m not going there again.” Sam said standing in the doorway with pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other, he threw the mix in his mouth drank some water and swallowed the lot.


	12. Chapter 12

“I’m sorry man,” Dean started with a shake of his head, “I’m doing exactly what you were warned against.”

 

Sam smiled and climbed back into bed. “It’s all right, you’re just looking out for me in your own twisted way.”

 

Curling up they exchanged a kiss then cut the light out for the night.

 

Morning brought them up and ready for action, the first thing Sam did was check the San Francisco newpapers online for any strange murders and found just the random usual events. He then cross checked through Nevada, Colorado, Wyoming and Idaho. He found nothing out of the ordinary for the time being. Satisfied that they had got the lot he settled back content with a cup of coffee steaming away in front of him. 

 

“Got an extra coffee mate.” Sam looked up startled to see Crowley who stood just across from him. 

“Come on to the kitchen and I’ll get you one.” Sam stood and walked through the living room and into the kitchen with Crowley giving approving nods.

 

“Much better digs. Suitable to your station. You were after all the chosen of Lucifer.”

 

Sam passed the cup of coffee to him as Dean and Theo looked dumbfounded for the moment. 

 

“We were under the impression you were abandoning us.” Dean said fixedly. Theo just glared.

 

Crowley bowed to Theo, “Thank you young angel, young handsome angel, for holding your nature at bay for the moment.” He held up hands palms out. “I come in peace, no tricks up my sleeve I promise.” He then picked his cup of coffee off the bar and drank smacking his lips. 

 

“You make a damn good cuppa.” Crowley said smiling at Dean.

 

“Thanks, now exactly why are you here?” Dean accepted the compliment and turned a question.

 

“Just wanted to pass on word that you did a satisfactory job with the succubi in California, we’ve been after them for ages to no avail, it seemed that some intervention was called for and you did an admirable job it. Congratulations.”

 

The back door opened and Bobby stepped in and growling went into the kitchen, “Just when I thought the morning wouldn’t or couldn’t get worse you show up.”

 

“Oh Bobby, Greetings to you as well, anyway as I was telling you Sam, your battle and overcoming has earned you some points with certain cadre of demon kind, they are shall we say bound to stay out of your way if you stay out of theirs.”

 

“And exactly what are they doing?” Sam asked.

Crowley grinning sipped his coffee again and looking over the rim of the cup, “Ironically they are assisting politicians.”

 

“Figures.” Bobby said coming into the breakfast room with his cup of the morning. “Most of em are crooked anyway.”

 

“Anyway young Winchester, “

 

Sam laughed, “I’m not that young anymore.”

 

“Compared to our kind you’re a babe in the woods, but a very experienced and dangerous babe.” Crowley took a deep breath, “The cadre has given me leave to pursue my continued work with you on the occasional time provided you don’t interfere with the governmental issues.”

 

Sam considered for a moment, “Considering what it would take for us to get close to a government official I think it’s safe to say that on that, pending that no part of any of our souls are on the line we can accept your terms.”

 

Crowley nodded his head. “Always a business doing pleasure with you.” He said laughing. Then he became serious, “Dean, Sam, Bobby, Theo; there are forces at work that are going to try to launch a second apocalypse, oh and the launch date is set several years into the future, by which time you boys will long have gone on to your rewards. Even you Dean.”

 

“You mean after that vacation in Hell that Lucifer is going to release me that easy.”

 

“No you’ve done that yourself, or hasn’t you angel buddy told you the news. At least it’s news to us. Lucifer is turning his attention from you for the moment, He has much bigger fish to fry and in a way would like to ask you boys to assist him.”

 

“He can suck ass for my part.” Dean said heatedly.

 

Crowley shook his head and smiled sadly. “You see this is where the arrangement that we just made gets a touch murky. There will be an assassination attempt on the Governor of Arizona by a demon possessed, but this possessed is a rogue demon, through him you will be able to identify other rogue demons, but it will require one little thing.”

 

“I knew there was a catch.” Sam said grimacing.

 

“Not really a catch as much as a query. Are you familiar with the phrase ‘it just breaks my heart?’” Crowley smiled. “With a rogue demon it is essentially true they occupy dead hosts, which is something abhorrent to the rest of us. We, that is, the loyal cadre want you to stop this assassination attempt.” Crowley said.

 

“How do we know this isn’t a setup?” Theo asked.

 

“You don’t handsome, it’s strange isn’t it they’re going to have to take me at my word, but have I deceived you in the past?” Crowley asked.

 

“When and where.” Dean growled.

 

“Next March, the 25th in the Governor’s mansion, we have the location pinpointed down to his office and that is all we have.” Crowley smiled, “You have 7 whole months to prepare for this situation, the choice is yours lads.”

 

“What happens if he dies?” Theo asked.

 

“His death will signal the other rogue demons to strike; they will strike more powerful officials. However, you stop this small situation and yes you can avert a much larger catastrophe.”

 

“And just what bills are these others voting on that will be a turning point?” Sam asked.

 

Crowley shifted a bit, “That I cannot tell you. I’m sorry mate, it’s not data that they upper cadre are prepared to release yet. But you will see tell-tale signs over the next three months that will be key to all of this.”

 

Crowley then set his empty cup on the bar, waved and vanished. They all looked at the spot he was occupying for a moment longer. Then they looked at each other and Sam moved to the kitchen to start a fresh pot of coffee and start breakfast.

 

“Do we dare believe him on this?” Theo said looking at Dean and Sam.

 

“He’s right about one thing, he’s square dealed us all along, no betrayal’s which is strange for a demon.” Sam admitted. “I say we keep a close eye on world events from today until 3 months from today. We occupy our time coordinating data between hunts.” Dean said with a tilt of his head. “If he’s right and shit is starting to fall apart, then we can do something about it. If not we’ll deal with that too.”

 

Sam got down his morning dose of meds and grabbed a glass filling it with water from the refrigerator’s door dispenser, as he took his dosage he looked back at them “So we take him at his word for now?” 

 

“We got 7 months to set up, let’s just see what happens is all I’m saying.” Dean defended.

 

“So have you got a hunt ready to crank up or are you just sitting idle?” Bobby asked them and he joined them at the breakfast table.

 

Two hours and a full breakfast later, they all started to head towards their respective areas of concentration. Theo and Sam were going to monitor internet news for anything out of the ordinary and maybe look up a hunt at the same time, Dean was going to help Bobby with the Chevy he was working on that was driving him to distraction. In the barn Dean got under the hood adjusting the lifters and then started to reassemble the lot. 

 

He looked at Bobby who was busy on his side doing pretty much the same thing. “What was wrong out here?”

 

“Nothing just seeing Crowley put me in an instant pissy mood, sorry.” 

 

“No reason to be.” Dean interjected. “He makes me antsy sometimes too.”

 

Bobby looked at him across the block, “Then you wanna tell me why the hell you keep putting up with him?”

 

Dean looked at him for a moment, shrugged and turned back to the engine.

 

“Oh just a…” Bobby imitated the shrug. “You gotta do better than that boy.”

 

“Like he said, he’s always been honest with us which I find strange for a demon. “ Dean said looking back at his work, then starting back tightening the bolt. “Come on, I’d like to get this block done by Lunchtime if we can.”

 

Sam and Theo were sifting data on their separate computers when Theo raised his hand and waved for Sam’s attention, Sam seeing the silent wave out of the corner of his eye got up from his workstation stretching then he wandered over to Theo.

 

“Whatcha found?” Sam asked.

 

“Hard to say with all the stuff going on in the Middle East.”

 

“What are you talking about we’ve had peace over there for five years now.” Sam said looking at the terminal and noting the story that Theo was pointing to. “Suspected spy ring found in Afghanistan, composed of both Russian and Allied American agents, peace threatened.”

 

“That is definitely not good; you found that in LexisNexis in the Wall Street Journal? Mark for cross referencing, I’ll start a search on mine and we’ll see what we come up with, pinpoint all stories dealing with the main keywords.”

 

“I know boss.” Theo said his fingers flying on the keyboard. Sam was doing the same then looked up and smiled then returned to his unit. The next hour and they had no less than 30 cross referenced stories in local, national and international news agencies. 

 

Sam looked up from his unit and waved to Theo, “Dude this is unreal I’ve got over 5,000 hits on the keywords Afghanistan, Spy Ring, Allied Americans, and Russians. 

 

Theo pushed back from his unit, “Same as me, I’ve got about 3,500, but I sifted on Agencies as well.

 

“Good move.” Sam commented. And added that to his search, after about 2 minutes he chimed, yep 3,565 on mine.

 

Theo nodded, “Same here.” 

 

“Oh shit not the Middle East again.” Sam said morosely.

Theo shrugged, “That’s where the plain of Megiddo is located and well all the Fundamentalists are thumping their pulpits screaming that the apocalypse is coming…they just forgot to add the “again” to their sermons.”

 

Sam looked down at his system before commenting, “The Associated Press picked up on it first evidently and then Wall Street grabbed it because of the economic indications then it went to worldwide distribution.” Sam pulled up another screen and called up a stock brokerage window and looked at the trading. “The stock market’s holding firm for now. There’s a slight dip in some of the indicators but nothing major.”

 

“Ok so we got a possible story to keep tabs on.” Sam gave a nod to Theo, who returned it. 

 

“I feel like such a techno weenie.” Theo said with a grin.

 

‘Your weenie ain’t techno by a long shot.” Sam said with a decided grin.

 

“Thanks.” Theo blushed slightly.

 

So with that they started a file and would start tracing the indicators, Sam found the process daunting and wondered how Ash handled it but then remembered that Ash seemed to be half stoned all the time anyway. But he was an MIT student, he’d had over three years of that exposure so with all he did as a kid and then what he learned there it’s no wonder that he was such a specialist. 

 

Sam looked up and motioned to Theo, “let’s get up for a few and take a break, my back is killing me from sitting hunched over here.” Sam said.

 

Theo nodded and both rose, stretched and walked out of the office, Sam had grabbed his gunbelt with the Ruger that always hung by the door and strapped it on. Theo looked appraisingly at him.

 

“Oh you want to take a walk around the property.” Theo said musing.

 

Sam nodded and grabbed a floppy hat off a peg, Theo grabbed his and they started out the back door and down one of the little tracks they’d worn in the desert soil with their ATV’s. 

 

“Damn.” Sam said thinking.

 

“Something wrong?” Theo asked.

 

“Oh no, I was just thinking that soon it’s going to be 15 years since you come to be with us.” Sam said with a grin. 

 

Theo returned the look, “Can’t think of anyplace else I’d rather be.” 

 

“Sometimes, just sometimes the whole thing feels almost story book in a way.” 

 

“Yeah, and somehow we usually come to close out a chapter with good stuff.” Theo said grinning broadly now.

 

Sam nodded as they walked, “We can’t consolidate all our time worrying about something that’s going on thousands of miles from us. We can just keep doing our job the best we can and hope for the best.”

 

Theo looked at him appraisingly, “So does that mean you’re going to take Crowley up on his offer?” He asked cautiously.

 

“It means, I’m not going to worry about things I can’t do anything about and I’ll work on things I can. I can’t control what the pinheads in Washington do, but I can control what demons, bog critters, and other such do, that’s just the way I’m programmed, and in three months if things look ripe we’ll look into this matter a little more deeply. Right now though, I’m not going to let it occupy my mind.”

 

“Good way of looking at it.” Theo remarked.

 

Then looked at the horizon, the grass back on this part of the property was looking to be bush hogged soon but the seed heads waving in the breeze gave Theo a sense of oneness and solidarity with the earth. He wrapped an arm around Sam’s taller shoulders and grinned. 

 

“We all make a pretty good team.” 

 

“Yep, of course we get on each other nerves from time to time, but we’re pretty well met.” Sam agreed.

 

“Just glad you’re doing better, you had me worried there for a while.” Theo admitted thinking back to Sam’s hospitalization.

 

“Had me worried as well, John’s really fucked with my life, at the same time there are invaluable lessons he taught between fucking with my mind that I’ll treasure.”

 

Theo laughed shortly, “a love hate relationship.”

 

Sam snorted softly, “Yep.”

 

They continued their walk in peace while Dean and Bobby continued to work in the barn in peace as well, for a change peace had descended on the farm and they were glad of it. Sam and Theo’s walk took them deep into the acreage past a small stream the broke the property and trailed across others, to some small wooded copses where a variety of flora was growing. Sam stopped at one point in his walk and sat down in a well worn spot next to a sweet gum tree. He leaned back against its girth and stared upwards through the slight canopy. Theo had sat down across from him in his accustomed spot in the trail together they just slowly let their minds drift becoming a part of the landscape. Sam was thus surprised when his phone rang and he answered.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Sam, Dr. Connor here. Just checking in with you.”

 

“Hi Doc. Theo and I are out walking the property and we’ve stopped to take advantage of our favourite wooded spot in our hundred acre wood.” He said quoting Milne’s “Winnie the Pooh.” 

 

“Glad to hear it, just wanted you to know that your last round of tests came back to the office, and I forwarded the results to you neurologist. The EEG we did looked pretty good, we still show a disturbance in the old gray matter, but you’re probably going to be stuck with that for some years to come. Your blood work came back as well and you serum levels check out as do your medication levels. Of course you’re negative for HIV and have the blood pressure of an athlete. So enjoy your walk and I’ll talk to you on our next visit Friday.”

 

“Sounds good Doc.” And he hung up in time to intercept another call. 

 

“Hello?” 

 

“Hey where you at?” Dean asked.

 

“Theo and I were worn out from staring at the computer screen so we’re taking a walk around the property.”

 

“Oh okay, just wondered, Bobby and I have about got this block back together and I came in to get a cold one, found you gone.”

 

“Thanks,” Sam said.

 

“For what?” Dean asked puzzled.

 

“Worrying about me.”

 

“Shit.” Dean said shortly.

 

“Love you too.”

 

“God I need a bath in testosterone to wash off the girly.” Dean mimicked.

 

“You love it and you know it.” Sam said.

 

“Huh, I’ll never admit it. See ya.” Dean said and hung up.

 

Sam pocketed the phone then looked at Theo. 

 

“See that’s what matters, not these stupid world events we can do nothing about, but right there, Dr. Connors giving me that call to check in and then Dean calling up, that matters.”

 

“You’re learning.” A voice said walking out of the trees. The middling tall, nattily dressed man looked down at them, Theo scrambled to his feet and Sam started. But God plopped down on the path and so Theo sat back down. “Value is found in little things not great. And yes I know of the situation in the Middle East, as well as Crowley’s offer. I’m glad to see you using some common sense to posit that out.”

 

Sam looked puzzled, “I figured you’d try and talk me out of it.”

 

God laughed then smiled fondly. “That’s why they call it free will, the operative word there is Free. I’ve given you the chance to make your life and the place around you heaven or hell, it’s your choice, I’m glad to give a little nudge now and then, but I very largely leave it up to my children to make their choices.”

 

“But how can you condone demons occupying high places in government?” Sam asked.

 

God shook his head looking down for a moment, “Sam, they’ve always been there is various people, there are approximately 3 million demons loose on my world at present, a lot of them from when you opened that crypt, you naughty boy.” His tone was admonitory but his gaze that of a benevolent father. Sam ducked his head shamed. Then God reached out and lifted his chin. “What’s done is done. You and your people have made the best of the world I have created here.” 

 

He levered himself to his feet with Sam and Theo also standing. “I’ll be checking in from time to time, mainly because you interest me.” With that he was gone leaving Theo and Sam to look at empty space then at one another.

 

“I’ll never get used to that.” Sam said shaking his head. “God, the almighty looking like David Tennant’s Doctor Who, and I’m curious as to why we interest him.”

 

“Some things it’s best not knowing.” Theo advised. “I get shook up just being in His Presence, I mean I’m just a peon of an angel, He’s my father, I sometimes feel like you did before you went to the hospital.”

Sam reached out and hugged Theo then they continued their walk. “Well I’ll take his advice to heart.”

 

Their walk commenced onwards and they were soon back in sight of the house and the barn, they decided to stop by the barn and check in on Bobby and Dean. Sam was pleasantly surprised to see them putting some finishing touches on the engine. 

 

“Looks like you’ve had a productive morning.” Sam said walking into the barn. 

 

“It’s not been too bad, princess over there has been griping a bit about nothing to do. I tried to convince him that quiet times are not necessarily bad.”

 

“Well we’re headed back to the house so lunch will be ready in a short; I’m going to fix up a big pasta salad. Don’t worry Dean you’ll like it, it’ll be filled with some of left over roast beef and chicken.” 

 

“And you complain that you’re girly.” Bobby said shooting Dean a look then looking at Sam and winking.

 

“You’re one to talk Bobby, I can remember coming into your kitchen when you had an apron on and up to your wrists in biscuit dough.” Sam shot him with a grin. “Come on Theo we’re disturbing the Testosterone club, we’ve got enough, I’d hate to get overdosed.”

 

“Oh then you’d be like Dean!” Theo shot back.

“HEY!” Dean responded, too late as they were beating a hasty retreat to the house.

 

“Damn but he looked like he smoked a couple while he was out on that walk.” Bobby said shaking his head. 

 

“Nah, it’s just nature boy getting his head cleared with a walk in the park.” Dean said, “Come on let’s get this finished.” 

 

In the house Sam did start fixing lunch while Theo went into the office and checked his search and coming back into the living room he walked through to the kitchen. “Nothing.” 

 

Sam had the stock pot started with water and was getting the pasta ready when he heard Theo. Sam shook his head not in negation but in wonder that something of that magnitude at least in the political arena had not created ripples of panic elsewhere. “No problem, either it’s too soon to tell, or folk just don’t care.”

 

“Apathy is the great leveling emotion.” Theo said coming into the kitchen. “So apathy aside, anything I can do to help?”

 

“Not really, this is an easy fix for lunch.”

 

Three months and several jobs later they once again checked their news database and found some little change but it seemed that things were settling down in the Middle Eastern regions. They actually looked like they were getting along again. 

 

Theo, Dean, and Sam were scanning their relative computers while Bobby stood off to the side finally saying. “Ok kiddies you been fiddlin’ with those keyboards for the better part of an hour, are we safe or sorry?” 

 

“There no indicators pointing towards anything major.” Sam said pushing back from his desk.

 

“So you think that Crowley was having us on.” Dean asked.

 

“No Crowley was not having you on.” Himself said from the other side of the room. “It just seems that the nonintervention treaty between God and Lucifer has gained a new clause and some Angels have been interfering with demonic activity.”

 

“That’s a bad thing?” Theo chimed in.

 

“No pretty boy, that’s a pisser of a thing. It interferes with some bills that would benefit our side getting pushed through.” Crowley said smirking.

 

“Look Crowley,” Dean started, “ok so the angels muck around and fiddle with some politics, it just means peace for a while longer and less chance of the devil killing off demons like he did when he was freed last time.”

 

“You don’t understand mate, he’s turning up the heat so to speak and making our job more difficult to the point that pretty soon there’s going to be a flood of demons looking for portals into this world to escape hell. Your pretty little kiddies at their spend the night parties playing with a Ouija board are going to release more demons in one sitting than that fucking gate in the cemetery did!”

 

Sam and Dean looked around at each other, “So what do you expect us to do, jump on the bandwagon to get the angels out of your bailiwick?” Dean asked.

 

“YES!” Crowley said expansively. “At least get them to pull back a little they are tipping the balance and that’s not good.”

 

Theo looked up and nodded, “He has a point. Mankind sits on a fulcrum with good and evil on each side of the plane. When it’s balanced it’s a good thing, but tip the scale one way or another and there is chaos.” He looked at Sam, Dean and Bobby, “even when the scale tips for the good. After all too much of a good thing can be dissatisfying.”

 

“So if we hear of some demonic activity we are supposed to let it go?” Bobby said looked at Crowley, “Because in my book that’s screwed.”

 

“I know mate, you have no idea how I know, but yes, give the demons a chance to gain a tiny foothold enough to crank up the hunters activity again and you’ll be better off.”

 

They all sat or stood around looking at the other, “Look kiddies, I’ve burned a lot of bridges to get where I am, it’s not perfect but it’s good for me. And I’ve had a lot of shit thrown my way for messing with you. So take my advice and leave go for just a bit.” And he was gone.

 

They all looked at each other again, “I think we need to get a second opinion on this.” Bobby said then looked around, “Hey Castiel are you listening in.” 

 

“I was, I didn’t want to give Crowley any advantage, but what he says is true, tip the scales one way or another and there will be chaos. As it happens, the chaos that would happen if the scales tipped to the good would be far more devastating than if they tipped to the bad. Mankind is geared to work hard in hard times. Good times creates sloth and waste.”

 

Dean shook his head disgustedly and Sam looked away for a moment then looked back at Castiel, “So as of right now we are officially on vacation for the next six months.” Sam said.

 

“Will that be sufficient to open a few cans of worms?” Dean asked.

 

“Time will tell.” Castiel said with an almost fatalistic finality.

(tbc)


End file.
